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Message: <blockquote data-quote="el-remmen" data-source="post: 211926" data-attributes="member: 11">First of all, Ninja Jester - in the future MAKE CLEARER PARAGRAPH BREAKS!!!!! Ahem. . .  I knew when I gave these ingredients that they were slightly more difficult than the others I had given so far - but if anyone was up to the challenge I knew it was Rune (of the crazy story hour) and NinjaJester (who is like a ninja AND a jester which can only mean one thing: So friggin' Bad Ass!)Anyway, I'm sorry to say that I saw more weaknesses than strengths in NJ's entry.. . .Well, actually - in both entires there are "armies of driders" - which typically (according to the MM) really shouln't be - but NJ does get around this by having the driders be the result of the magic mirror a opposed to Lolth's curse - however, the REASON the evil wizard chose driders (as opposed to the myriad other things he might have chosen) is not made clear - giving the feeling that they were simply stuck in there to meet the ingredient requirements and not for some creative or dramatic purpose.Also, NJ's use of the triptych was stretching it - a three-paneled mirror isn't really a triptych - so that lowered my opinion of the scenario in terms of fulfilling the requirements of the Iron DM game. I think the problem with the scenario in the end is that all I have about it are questions, and not the good kind (like Wulf's entry made me ask):Why did Cat's Eye become a butler to guard the mirror?  Why did he leave a clue to where the gems are if it no longer served any good purpose?How do the were-bear (who are supposed to be always lawful good according to the MM (but that can easily be ignored) and the gnome know to come back and "easvesdrop"?  What if their eavesdropping is unsuccsesful?And so on. . .Now Rune's entry is very ambitious.. .  Leaving aside the army of driders (which I mentioned above) and the strange "war" with drow - the sundial tower itself is brilliant idea - and while I generally chafe at the idea of chronomancy - it works well here - however, there is one problem with this scenario - a BIG GLARING problem - If the sundial being blocked from sunlight caused that negative stasis effect - how come it never happened on the first very overcast day? Or what about at night?However, I think this problem could likely be fixed pretty easily (by making it a combination of events that lead to the result - not just the drider's web) - and based on the good characters (the aselfish collector, the albino drider and the barbarian were-bear dwarf "spider-hunter") and on neatness of the location itself I will give this round to RuneAs one last comment, Rune's story hook was VERY good - as it allowed for a variety of ways for the party to get there - from happening to pass by the village while searching for a way across the mountains to seeking out the works of the crazy sage.</blockquote>

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