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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Piratecat" data-source="post: 1625126" data-attributes="member: 2">Comments as I read each story. Damn, Macbeth, that was superb. I agree with Sialia about it needing one more line at the end - "and it was good" was what I thought of as well - and I noticed that you have a they're/their and what might be a resignation/realization error. But holy cow, what a wonderful piece of writing. The picture use was great, and it gripped me from start to finish. Morpheus, interesting choice doing it as a transcript. I found it disconcerting that while the conversation was recorded exactly by (presumably) a stenographer or a tape recorder, there were mood-setting and literary comments when people weren't speaking. (eg "His eyes got glazed over as if he was struggling with a thought so terrible, he had to retreat within himself to avoid it.") Then you flipped into a flashback. That drew me out of the tale a little, because I got confused whather I was reading a story or a transcript -- if that makes any sense? I finally settled into thinking of it as a film script, with quick cuts between the interview and what actually happened. With that in mind, I really liked the style. It was good to see mythos references. I really, really liked the verse at the end.Hey, how did pics 1 & 2 fit into the story? It wasn't clear to me while reading it, but I probably missed something obvious. Be aware that historically, using pictures we're given as actual pictures in the story has gotten us marked down by the judges (as I learned the hard way the first time I competed.) I don't know if that rule is still in effect.</blockquote>

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