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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Berandor" data-source="post: 1636113" data-attributes="member: 225">Rodrigo Istalindir, Sacrifice:Generally, I really liked the story. I always like it when fantastical elements and the "real world" are mixed, so the appearance of a were-shark was a cool surprise. Picture use was fine, I think. The rocks/turtle eggs could have been excised from the story without much ado, but the other pics were used better. The shark and the cave were especially central.In the end, I would have liked a more "Hollywood" ending better, so that the little girl comes to life again when brought into the sea, but that's alright. At least the sharks go hunting <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />BardStephenFox, Delusional: A fine entry imo, and a stab at environmentalists <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> I wasn't too clear about the correlation between Yu dying and the weather company opening, but otherwise I liked what you did with the pictures. It seems that save for the "shadow-horns", you put a different spin on each of them.Having the meat be human meat with some fish thrown in as cover was great, and the "Angel of Death" was a cool use for a cool pic. It's fortunate the body was dead for too long, so the druids left it hanging in the fence <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />I enjoyed the relationship between the killer and the demon; it was nice how Yu reacted to some things the Dr. only thought. In the end, I was left wondering whether Darren was a good guy or a bad guy; I think that's what you tried to achieve, so my hat's off - that's a difficult thing to achieve in three days.Francisca, Agent Keady:I can't help but feel a little let down by this story. For one, I thought the fight/finale was over a little too quick; even though her final words were fine (inspired by a Meta thread? <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />), it all ended in three very short paragraphs, so it wasn't really a tense moment for me.Otherwise, the story is fine. So why am I feeling let down? I think the pictures weren't used very good, that's why. I think none of the pictures were used really well. It almost seemed as if you'd just ported a story over to a circus environment to make them fit."After the beatles": That could have been a good use, but the killer's employ of animals at the killing site isn't brought up again. Maybe Atanasia could have ripped apart an animal before jumping at Keady? That would have resolved that issue as well as given him more time to escape his bounds."Dinner": This pic is just in because they go fishing. Why do they go fishing? I don't know. They just go fishing, and there happens to be a pile of chum lying around."me and my shadow": this pic is really just a throwaway. I liked that you tied your story in with former works, but to a reader of this story, the horned shadow isn't really important. And you seem to realize it, too, because you forget the pic as soon as you used it. Perhaps you could have focused on it for a paragraph or two, with a more detailed flashback to Keady's former experiences? Have time stretch, and the moment before Keady recognizes the helmet for what it is might become a tense moment in the story."taall women": Atanasia wears a costume. For about one paragraph, she is half woman, half giraffe. And then, she's wearing a short black dress, and the costume's forgotten.I really liked the story, but I fear the pictures weren't your forte, this time. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />ETA: O.k., after re-reading my comments on Francisca's story, I hope they're not too harsh. I just know you can do better, is all. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

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