Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Berandor" data-source="post: 1686745" data-attributes="member: 225">Ao, thanks!I'll continue my coverage of the entries (Only 3 more stories to go... alright, maybe 4 <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />) with the other two semi-final stories. Before I do, though, I want to repeat that it is extremely difficult (if not impossible) to fit all five pics into a narrative so that they not only make sense, but are also equally important to the story. To me, having the pics make sense in the overall plot of the story is accomplishment enough, but I'll still cover it strictly.orchid blossom, distraction:what a wonderful and intelligent concept you brought in. I fell absolutely in love with the idea of fate-spinning (at first, I thought Zhi-Nu was one of three sisters, but it seems she was capable enough on her own <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />) and the whole plot. A great idea. As you said, you had an easier time writing this story, and it shows. It flows very well, and there are almost no superfluous scenes at all (see below). And her father's curse, come to earth one day for each year, it just rings true mythically. Well done!intothelight: A very important part of the story, the story around this pic helps us see the difficulty of fate-weaving (and that there's no real replacement for Zhi-Nu) as well as show us her absence. Good use!backtobasics: The idea was cool, even though having the living tapestry on her back doesn't help her alot, does it? She's not likely to see what's happening there most of the time. Still, that were the intricacies of the pic, so I'll let it slide.badday: This pic is a little weak, because while it shows us Zhi-Nu's thread-reading ability again and also brings home that this ability is invisible to humans, as well as pointing out that her negligence has indeed already caused havoc, it cut have cut out of the story easily.imeanttodothat (great name for the pic, btw!):This is of course one of the central pieces in the story, as her lover's death is Zhi-Nu's punishment for neglecting her duties.facetoface (what is that thing, anyway?): This felt a little forced to me, because I don't know why her father should reform himself out of this malformed hideous thingy. Contrary to the badday pic, this didn't really make sense to me, and I felt this pic really simply came up because it was in the roster, and not much else.In the end, a very, very fine entry, with really strong picture use. This story is going to be hard to beat.But Rodgrigo Istalindir will try anyway with "Life imitates Art":This was also a very nice story, and how often do you get a supernatural horror story set in a music school? I loved some nice details in your story, like the songs and band names being so pessimistic (sonata grave, crying, etc.). I also loved your use of the tattoos, as magical invocations bringing death and injury. Very cool. You didn't have to explain how it all began, but I would have liked a better understanding of why Kat killed her parents. That first step on the road to darkness is always one or the most important ones.I also found very cool how Kat really couldn't help herself when it came to David. She didn't want to speak with him, didn't want to meet him, not to sleep with him - that really helped me believe that he'd be the one guy to turn her away from evil.backtobasics: This is THE central pic of your story, and a very strong and - to me - innovative use. Even before we know the story behind the tattoos, I really liked how Kat was hesitant to show them to David.intothelight: You're lucky that pic is as blurry as it is, because otherwise that use wouldn't have been fine with me <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> As it is, though, I think it's a great, original use. Molten glass - cool idea!imeanttodothat: the plane isn't really big enough for transporting almost forty people. If we didn't have that spectator in the pic, as well... still I think this isn't that bad, but coupled with the passive employ of the pic as TV image without bringing it up again (say, by visiting th crash site or something) makes this into probably your weakest use. Not really a weak use, but the rest is better.badday: poor David. He just wasn't meant to live, was he? <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> For a moment, I thought that was what Kat had wanted with her tattoo, that she wanted him to die, but you weren't *that* mean to me. Anyway, I would have liked it even more for this pic to be the turning point of the story, but I'm at a loss as to how to do that without being too far-fetched. So, when I can't think of a better use, yours must be good <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />facetoface: You both end with this picture, but you use it differently. You allow the pic to use its full hideousness, and for good measure. This really is a creature out of nightmares (no matter what it really is, it fits well). A dark ending to a similar-yet-quite-different story.I must admit, at first reading I didn't think you'd win, but after reconsidering your story for this little comment, it holds up better than I thought. It will be a close judgement, I think.Good luck to both of you!</blockquote>

Verification