Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Arravis" data-source="post: 310526" data-attributes="member: 327">Humanophile wrote:**Arravis, I kind of see what you're saying**I'm glad at least one person isn't willing to burn me in the bonfire of political correctness. Thanks.**Yes, there are lots of trends among human behavior, and oftentimes you can pick up a lot from a few little details or know what will go over better**That's all I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to judge men or women as better then the other, I'm not trying to say that ALL women do one thing or antoher... all I'm trying to do is prepare for scenarios I'm, as a male, not likely to think of.**But when you want to establish something more one-on-one, you're looking for individual differences, so you can cut loose the stereotypes more or less.**I'm aware that everyone, regardless of gender, is an individual. Two of the girls are my friends one of them is my girlfriend. I talk to them, I interact with them, I'm very open with them. I treat them as people and as equals.The formation of stereotypes is critical to the human existance. It's how we try to predict behavior. Stereotypes don't have to be gender, race, etc. Such as "this arguement is a stereotypical Arravis arguement..." I'm an individual, but I fall into that stereotype (which you would form if you knew me <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />). There's nothing wrong with that. Such assumptions are one of the ways we survive and interact in the world. I have a stereotype that most people won't stab me with a knife when I first meet them, and I go along my day with that stereotype. Otherwise I'd be pretty nervous all day. It's basic psychology and it's an important tool.As a DM I try to predict the behavior of my players, the only way to do this is with stereotypes. My individualized stereotypes work fine with the guys (I'm also sure that I'm throwing in gender ones there as well), but aren't so predictable on the gals. So I try to come up with concepts and ideas that allow me to better predict behavior.If you're offended by it, my apologies, it's not my intend to offend you. It's simply a process I go through in creating a good game. And to some of you that I "ticked" off, I'm not asking you to be in my game nor would I want you to be, so have no fear.My players are happy in my game, all at some point have told me I'm one of the best or the best DMs they've played with. I'm not claiming to be damn good... just good from their perspective. They have fun at my games cause I always go out of my way to  make sure everyone has something to do they enjoy, and to set those situtations up you have to predict behavior to a certain extend and that means making assumptions and using stereotypes.**you want a girl in your game, trying to make your game girl-friendly isn't the way to do it.**I already have girls in my games and I'm not looking to get any new players. My statements weren't on how to "attract" girl-gamers to a game. I do think that D&D is definately much more guy friendly then it is girl friendly. I'm not trying to make my game's purely girl friendly, but I am trying to balance things out. As stated above, the simple fact that you get the most XP from killing a monster is something that leans on the male side. I don't give XP for killing , I give XP for overcoming challenges, however that's achieved. I also try to do alot of other things to balance things out. When the women in my group ask me why there isn't a single magical dress, but there is a ton of male-oriented magical clothing... am I supposed to pretend that D&D is totally equal?**You approach them as prospective gamers or as friends, and if you enjoy their company in-game (out of game too if you want them around when the dice aren't rolling), game with them.**I only play with people I am friends with, for me D&D is as much a social event as it is a game.**The girls in your group aren't there because you let them shop, and and you didn't bring them into your game because they like shopping. You brought them in as friends, and if they happen to like shopping, they adapt to it.**I don't ever force anything on them, I never push them towards "shopping" or any other such thing, it's something they do totally on their own. But I simply want to be prepared when they do something like that and it isn't covered in the DMG, PHB, the module or any other source. So since I'm not so great at "winging" it, I try to be prepared before a game and to have the info I need on hand. Which means I have to make assumptions on things they would like. Now, I can just say "Hey, girls think no different then guys, so what would I like to see? How about a gladitorial arena full of wizards who, regardless of level, can only use cantrips..." So I throw that in... and the girls pass by it  and show no interest in it. I am simply trying to find ways to entertain my female players during the game and I am aware (and I think realisticly) that some of the things that I find entertaining they may not find entertaining.I see them as different, different as individuals, as people and another of the ways they are different is that they are female, so I try to predict behavior based on that as well as a ton of other factors. I could just make games based solely on what I think is fun... but I suspect everyone in the group would get bored with that.**Now I agree with you that men and women do think differently, I just don't see how it matters when you can pick and chose your players.**I have picked and chosen my players and I do think it matters in game creation. See above issues on predicting player's behavior and if you DM, then you know that's critical.Anyway... I apologize if I'm coming across as defensive, I just feel like some of the people here are simply reacting with political correctness and nothing more.</blockquote>

Verification