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Message: <blockquote data-quote="merelycompetent" data-source="post: 2953226" data-attributes="member: 33830">Observation: Your first parameter is going to severely limit your options, as DM and social gathering host, for fixing the problems you outlined. This is not a criticism - you and your group get additional fun out of the game through this sort of activity. I and my group don't. We just have different playing styles.Observation and suggestion: The drawback to this approach, IMO, is that the unruly player gets to develop the habit of being unruly *before* social pressure can stop it. This makes it harder for the unruly player to change his/her behavior, and ten times harder for the other players and DM. The other players and DM have to put up with rude behavior that can easily be fixed by a quick (and *polite*) conversation with the DM before the next game. No one needs to be embarrassed (hold it as a one-on-one, and no one else needs to know you talked) - just make sure that everyone knows what the "good behavior" rules are up front. IME, it's better if everyone knows up front what is considered good playing and what is considered bad playing. Set the expectations - for the game, and for "common courtesy".Suggestion that's worked well for me: Hold a brief "House Rules Writing" for an hour at the beginning of the next session. Pass out your rough draft of rules/ideas to make things go faster (or be more enjoyable), and ask for everyone's comments on them. Have them write it on their draft copy and pass it back to you. This way, the players all get the rules at the same time, have some say in what/when/how those rules are formed or applied, *and* you get the benefit of all those extra minds coming up with ideas. A couple of sessions later, release your now formalized House Rules. Update them at least twice a year.Suggestion: I've also held one-on-one training sessions with players. I call them "character sheet reviews," where I go over the character with the player and make suggestions about options available for the PC. One that I give regularly goes to the clerics - no one seems to use the divination spells in the books to their fullest. So I go over what augury, divination, and commune can do for the PC and the party (ex: keeping a list of questions about any metaplots handy for when they use a commune to deal with a trick/trap, so they can "fill up" the question per level queue). I've also held these for AOO rules and turning/rebuking undead. This might prove very time-consuming for you - you may want to dedicate a half hour at the beginning of a couple of game sessions to go over certain rules. Be wary of coming across as "dictating" what the player can/can't do with the character. Make sure you ask the player what he/she wants to do, if he/she is interested in pursuing this aspect of teh character's abilities, or if he/she'd rather just break heads.Suggestion: Shift some of the work onto the players. Make one of them responsible for keeping up with getting current copies of everyone's PC (and depending NPCs, companions, familiars, etc.) to you. Make it a requirement that you get that updated character sheet, or the late ones don't get XP awards. Enforce it.Suggestion: As others have suggested, have them pick a party leader - this is the person who keeps track of party intitative and similar things - freeing you up to run the adventure.Hope this helps!</blockquote>

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