title paragraph? any good?

[Ampolitor]

On a windswept battlefield A knight stands over his fallen horse gripping his bloodied sword ready to defend him to the end. he holds his banner high as it flutters in the wind and grips his blade tighter as he turns and prepares himself for the ranks of oncoming orcs. A pair of rogues talk in a dark alley at a busy seaport peering at a merchants ship nearing the docks. A woman gypsy sobbing huddles on the forest floor, she nervously looks around into the dark pointing her dagger at the closing shadows, knowing that they will come once her torch burns out.
A north man runs up a steep snowy hill trying to escape a pack of pursuing wolves, In terror he realizes that they are pushing him deeper into the valley of the white lord. A little girl chants a few words and sets fire to a tree sending all around her in a panic as they scream and call her a witch as they run. A half elf woman runs and hides among the ruins of a old keep with her baby as a squad of Milandrian purifiers draw there blades and move in for the kill. A devout cleric says a quick prayer to his god as the door buckles from the creature pounding on the other side. fresh adventurers peer into the dark entrance of a old mine with dreams of fame and fortune.
Welcome to the Campaign world of Lost Empires.

 

[shilsen]

Firstly, there are way too many spelling and grammar/mechanics errors. Secondly, the sort of things being described are very generic and can be found in most campaign settings. I'd suggest starting with something which separates this campaign world from all the other settings out there.

 

[Steverooo]

On a windswept battlefield A knight stands over his fallen horse gripping his bloodied sword ready to defend him to the end. he holds his banner high as it flutters in the wind and grips his blade tighter as he turns and prepares himself for the ranks of oncoming orcs. A pair of rogues talk in a dark alley at a busy seaport peering at a merchants ship nearing the docks. A woman gypsy sobbing huddles on the forest floor, she nervously looks around into the dark pointing her dagger at the closing shadows, knowing that they will come once her torch burns out.
A north man runs up a steep snowy hill trying to escape a pack of pursuing wolves, In terror he realizes that they are pushing him deeper into the valley of the white lord. A little girl chants a few words and sets fire to a tree sending all around her in a panic as they scream and call her a witch as they run. A half elf woman runs and hides among the ruins of a old keep with her baby as a squad of Milandrian purifiers draw there blades and move in for the kill. A devout cleric says a quick prayer to his god as the door buckles from the creature pounding on the other side. fresh adventurers peer into the dark entrance of a old mine with dreams of fame and fortune.
Welcome to the Campaign world of Lost Empires.

ADVENTURER 1: "And WHO are all these people, and what do they have to do wit' me?"

ADVENTURER 2: "I don'no... You wanna get a beer?"

ADVENTURER 1: "Yeah... and some cheese! I hear it's gouda!"

 

[Ampolitor]

thanks

thanx for the input, The errors capitlas etc are from the cut and paste. The paragraph is intended for a quick blurb like the back of the cover etc.. Your right though I do have some unique stuff I should be focusing more on. Ill work on something and post it so you can let me know what you think. Like I said im looking for something catchy for the back cover. A quick exciting paragraph that rolls the action into one. Kinda hard but something that would make you want to look inside. Thanks again for the comments.