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Message: <blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 968064" data-attributes="member: 1210">Fightin' PooThere isn’t much doubt in most of our heroes’ minds that they’ve never faced anything so disgusting before- except, of course, for Malford and Lester.  They have; they were here long ago.  The horror of fighting such an obscenity again is almost overwhelming... but only almost.A volley of spells and arrows flies at the monster, some dealing damage, and as fire and acid burn it an even worse stink rises from it.  Angelfire gulps down a potion and tumbles in on it, slashing with his deadly falchion, giving it a good cut along the side- brown fluid leaks out all over his arms- but then the creature’s forebody gapes open like a mouth, and with a swiftness that belies its bulk the monster slaps down and swallows the Coilite whole!  A shout of horror emerges from its gullet and the scarlet-skinned psychic warrior finds himself attacked from within by a host of pale white maggots as long as his forearm.Good thing for that potion, he thinks, breathing a great gout of fire inside the beast.  It blasts out, sizzling over the maggots and scorching the inside of the worm-thing’s long stomach.  I’m guessing that having someone breathe fire on you from inside can’t be good for you; the poop-worm sure doesn’t seem to like it.  It convulses violently, thrashing about, and lets out a horrible keening sound that deafens the entire group.  Within it, Angelfire decides that, despite the stench, that really is his best bet- so he breathes again, red fire cracking, burning and drying the wet slimy filth all around him.  Then he does it again and timeslips into the time stream.Malford dodges nimbly, but even so, only his mirror images prevent the beast from swallowing him down.  “GRRAGH!” he shouts, undergoing a Tenser’s transformation, and attacks the horrid creature in a tornado of blows.  Only a few hit, but Drelvin is continuing to sink arrow after arrow into it.  The serpent of waste keeps striking at Malford but only drops his images one by one, and before it takes the last of them down Drelvin sinks an arrow deeply into it, finishing it off.  With a tremendous high-pitched whine, the serpent poop shudders one last time, then flops down with a loud squish and moves no more.  “Eww,” Drelvin comments.Angelfire reappears in a few more seconds, no longer inside the creature; it had moved but he hadn’t, so he’s quite relieved to find himself free of the thing’s gullet.  As Malford’s spell of transformation wears off, our heroes glance around, seeking an exit.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a wall showing anywhere.“Hmph,” Malford grumbles thoughtfully, “I admire this filth-chamber approach to the entrance of this castle.  I should get something similar.”  “No,” replies Drelvin the archer, holding his nose.  “No, you shouldn’t.”Malford shrugs and pulls out a decanter.  Unstoppering it, he mutters a command word and a geyser of water shoots forth.  Using it like a hose, he first cleans off the party and then starts clearing some of the crap from the walls.  Exchanging glances, the others take to the air as the floor level of the place starts to slowly fill with a sewage-like mix of water and filth.   Finally, after a good fifteen minutes, a door is revealed and Malford turns the water off.  Venturing through the door, our heroes find a hallway with a door to each side and another at the far end.  They open the left-hand door- and find themselves looking at a sumptuously-bedecked room, with tables stacked with trays of fine viands and pitchers of wine, water and more.  There is an extremely comfortable-looking bed at one end of the chamber, many heavily cushioned couches throughout it, several sturdy-looking but well-padded chairs near the many tables bearing the delicious-smelling food of all descriptions.  And sitting upon one couch, facing the group, is the Master of Darkhold.He looks like any other man, his features like pale chiseled marble below a shock of dark hair.  He wears all black, simple clothing; no jewels adorn him, but there is an air of power about him.  “Good afternoon,” he says calmly.  “Please come in.  We have much to speak about.”Nobody pull any levers, Malford prays as the group enters.Next Time:  Advice on how to deal with Felenga!</blockquote>

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