Heya:
When I think PnP RPG I think of things like: a little bit of silly voices, detailed character backgrounds, histories, and stories written up before and between gaming sessions, revealing some of this history during gaming sessions, basing actions and decisions on this background. I think of puzzles and mysteries and riddles that might not be solved during that session, or ever, but all players working together to try to figure things out. That sort of thing.
When I think of CRPGs, I don't think of any of the above (well, maybe some for NWN, since a lot of that can be PnP online) with a nice chat interface. Instead, I think of, as Gabe from Penny Arcade put it, "Hitpoints! Mana!" It's fun in ToEE being a kind of marriage counselor sometimes, but the game is really primarily about killing monsters and taking their stuff. And I enjoyed the heck out of that. There's a lot of stuff in the actual temple about plots and counterplots and such, but at its heart it's killing monsters and taking their stuff.
In my opinion, maybe the RP in CRPG should be removed. It makes some people think there will be role playing in a CRPG and then they feel betrayed when this "role playing" supposedly isn't there. I think CRPGs are about stats, and levelling up, and decisions made during character creation and levelling up that have a real impact, and relatively simple puzzles and riddles, and tactical combat with hopefully meaningful tactics, opportunity costs, exploration, a storyline that probably isn't particularly interactive or nonlinear, and killing monsters and taking their stuff.
On the other hand, I can imagine a computer game where during character creation you have to select some personality traits and during the game those traits have an impact. Go against the trait (running from an encounter with the Brave trait) costs XP or something, for example. Go with a trait, and get rewarded. Then choose siblings, relatives, etc. and have some of them become a part of the story. Not just to be kidnapped, too. Relationships with the siblings to be defined, so that when they're encountered, they're nice or nasty as appropriate. Mentors with personalities and agendas that may or may not interact well with other characters' mentors. Reward players for earning a good reputation, by having appropriate NPCs at least mention the reputation, and perhaps reward it. The mentioning part actually happens in ToEE in a few places, and the rewards (usually lower prices) also occur.
At this point I'm not sure if I answer any question or went off on a tangent. Hmm.
Take care,
Dreeble