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Message: <blockquote data-quote="der_kluge" data-source="post: 2121161" data-attributes="member: 945">I did a google search for the last one here, and found some other good ones along with it. enjoy.Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avidbowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in afire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted 'Doctor! I think I'mshrinking!!' The doctor calmly responded, 'Now, settle down. You'll justhave to be a little patient.'A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphinsthat could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One dayhis supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. Onthe way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, hegingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged withtransporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedieswith the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of aparticular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When theanthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye andsaid, 'Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?'Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch company of Massachusetts wanted toproduce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocketwatches, decided to market compasses for pioneers traveling west. It turnedout that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses wereso bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather thanCalifornia. This, of course, is the origin of the expression: 'He who has aTates is lost!'A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatoryequipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, 'We have absolutely nothingto go on.'An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man.After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip ofelk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew andswallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine manreturned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, 'Thethong is ended but the malady lingers on,'A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his namemissing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to thelocal civic official who apologized profusely saying, 'I must have takenLeif off my census,'There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on anelk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three becamepregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on thehippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of thehippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.</blockquote>

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