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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Pielorinho" data-source="post: 84021" data-attributes="member: 259">I had a good friend from high school who I kept in touch with even when I moved to the opposite coast.  She told me about her new boyfriend (twice her age), told me about how attentive he was, how wonderful he was.  Then told me about how she was getting tired of him, and was thinking about having an affair.  Then told me they'd gotten engaged.  That was about the time I moved back to North Carolina and was looking for a place to live; their house had an open room, and so I became their new roommate, after knowing her her for six years.Turned out the aging boyfriend was a control freak (not to mention the worst pedant I've ever had the displeasure to know), and my high-school friend was getting to hate him.  And she got a big fat crush on another friend of mine who was incidentally married; he, rather than rejecting her, was giving her backrubs.  My high-school friend was becoming horribly depressed, sometimes suicidal, and was telling me everything that was going on--and that's when I got a big old crush on her.I talked her away from Joel, the married friend (and stopped talking to him, considering his caddish behavior toward her).  Her fiance came in one day to find her in my arms, sobbing; he didn't realize that she'd just decided not that Joel wasn't for her, that I was terrified she was going to commit suicide that afternoon.She broke up with her fiance a couple weeks later, springing it on him.  That same night, I told her I had a crush on her.We had about two months of off-and-on romance, before she told me that she was getting engaged to a fellow in California that she'd met online.  Meanwhile, her ex-fiance, quite unsurprisingly, kicked me out of the house.  True, I'd waited until she'd broken up with him to say anything to her; and I'd counseled her to talk to him long ago, long before things became dire, and I'd not changed my tune until they'd broken up.  Still, I didn't behave well.After I found out that she was spreading malicious rumors about me, I stopped talking to her.  I lost two good friends (and an annoying control-freak pedant of a roommate) through the whole catastrophe.Stay out of it.  Do you have other girl friends?  Tell some of them about it; swear them to secrecy; get them to take you out drinking.  Don't tell either of the folks involved:  not only isn't it their business, but they probably don't want to know.  This is a good time to wallow in your misery, think about how much life sucks, and then move on.If you're meant to be together, it'll eventually happen.  If you push things, they'll get ugly and awful, and you'll have a regret to add to your list.Daniel</blockquote>

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