Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="Shiv" data-source="post: 270256" data-attributes="member: 5526">Hey there,I was in a similar situation when my girlfriend wanted to join my game.&nbsp; Here's some thoughts from my experience.All of the gamers in the group I DM and in the group I play in are friends outside of gaming.&nbsp; Sounds like you and your group are the same way.&nbsp; But to be safe, I recommend making it clear to your wife and to your players that she will not be receiving preferential treatment.&nbsp; Help in learning the game, sure.&nbsp; Benefit of the doubt when it comes to helping her do things in-game (where a lack of knowledge of the rules might lead her astray), by all means.&nbsp; But don't pull punches with her character.&nbsp; And make sure everyone realizes that will be the case.&nbsp; And stick to that.If she's really willing to put in the extra time, then a spellcaster of some sort is not out of the question, but I would suggest that she starts with a character type that only requires basic rules knowledge (combat, skill use, etc.).&nbsp; She can always move into the &quot;other rules&quot; by multi-classing or changing characters after she's gotten the basic rules down.&nbsp; But, if she's willing to dive into everything right away, then let her.&nbsp; Just make sure she realizes that she'll have more &quot;catch-up&quot; work to do to get up to speed on the system.Have her not sit next to you at the table/living room floor/whatever.&nbsp; When my girlfriend got involved, she'd sit right near me.&nbsp; I found myself very tempted to constantly help her and this started to come off as coddling, which none of the players (herself included) liked.&nbsp; Make sure she identifies herself as one of the players, not as the wife of the DM.Make sure to be a little more careful putting your planning/notes/write-ups away when you're not working on things.&nbsp; Not that she'd cheat, but she may just happen upon a map or somesuch without realizing it was there.&nbsp; Probably wouldn't be a big deal, but there's always the chance that something she sees spoils some part of the game.That's it for now.&nbsp; If I think of anything else, I'll chime back in.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Shiv, post: 270256, member: 5526"] Hey there, I was in a similar situation when my girlfriend wanted to join my game. Here's some thoughts from my experience. All of the gamers in the group I DM and in the group I play in are friends outside of gaming. Sounds like you and your group are the same way. But to be safe, I recommend making it clear to your wife and to your players that she will not be receiving preferential treatment. Help in learning the game, sure. Benefit of the doubt when it comes to helping her do things in-game (where a lack of knowledge of the rules might lead her astray), by all means. But don't pull punches with her character. And make sure everyone realizes that will be the case. And stick to that. If she's really willing to put in the extra time, then a spellcaster of some sort is not out of the question, but I would suggest that she starts with a character type that only requires basic rules knowledge (combat, skill use, etc.). She can always move into the "other rules" by multi-classing or changing characters after she's gotten the basic rules down. But, if she's willing to dive into everything right away, then let her. Just make sure she realizes that she'll have more "catch-up" work to do to get up to speed on the system. Have her not sit next to you at the table/living room floor/whatever. When my girlfriend got involved, she'd sit right near me. I found myself very tempted to constantly help her and this started to come off as coddling, which none of the players (herself included) liked. Make sure she identifies herself as one of the players, not as the wife of the DM. Make sure to be a little more careful putting your planning/notes/write-ups away when you're not working on things. Not that she'd cheat, but she may just happen upon a map or somesuch without realizing it was there. Probably wouldn't be a big deal, but there's always the chance that something she sees spoils some part of the game. That's it for now. If I think of anything else, I'll chime back in. [/QUOTE]

Verification