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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Desdichado" data-source="post: 1726683" data-attributes="member: 2205">RESPONSE TO BIG TANGENT RANT ALERTOK, I know I'm probably going to be in the minority on this one, but I really have to wonder at how someone can claim that marriage is "overvalued" in our society; I'd quite strongly agree that the opposite is true.Now, don't get me wrong, there's a lot of good reasons that marriages can end in divorce.  But I think we're fooling ourselves if we think most of those marriages fall into that bracket.  Most marriages fail, in my opinion, because of lack of commitment to each other and to the marriage, and an increasing level of self-centeredness in general.So, the solution to divorce is to have better domestic partnership laws so that fewer people get married?  That's silly; that doesn't address the fundamental reason the relationships fail.  That's a loophole around the statistic is all.Not only that, that's "playing house."  Yeah, we're going to get together, act like we're married, but we're not going to actually, y'know, get married, because I don't want to make that kind of long-term commitment, and hey, that'll really suck for me if it doesn't work out.Well, duh.  Going into it with that frame of mind, of course it's going to fail.  A relationship is a commitment.  That's one of the reasons I strongly support marriage; unmarried couples that lack that committment are setting themselves up to fail.  Now, that doesn't mean you should rush into marriage; I'm hardly an advocate of that.  You still need to get married for the right reasons.But a workaround that invalidates the statistic but does nothing to address the root problem is silly.  The solution for lowering the divorce rate isn't to make marriage less attractive, it's to value committment and sacrifice rather than self-interest and short-term gratification.Not that I have any ideas on how to do that beyond myself and my own family, but there you have it.</blockquote>

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