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Message: <blockquote data-quote="janta" data-source="post: 1716972" data-attributes="member: 15270">She says she wants an equal, but her actions clearly show that's not true.  Further, I doubt she really considers anyone her "equal".  I'd be willing to bet that the people who don't let her walk all over them are the ones she rejects as hating her, or being out to get her or similar.  </armchair psychologist>  I must add my voice to the chorus of those urging you to cut off contact with this girl, at least until you get your life sorted out.  Continuing to hash this out will only lead to more confusion and pain. (I speak from experience.)  She'll be around; once you've gotten yourself into school, and have an emotional support network separate from her family and friends, then perhaps you can re-establish contact.  In fact if nothing else, do whatever you can to find your own friends in the area, people who have nothing to do with her -- at the moment it sounds like the only people you've got to talk to about this are the same ones she's got, and they're certainly going to have some conflicts of interest.  I would also suggest that you consider what other resources you have stateside; if it comes down to it, do you have friends or family in the US who would be willing to loan you the money to return here?AMG, please go back and re-read what you've written.  If all this had happened to a stranger, what would you tell that person to do?--Jantap.s. -- remember, ultimately the only person you can change is yourself.  She can't and won't change until she  wants to -- please don't fall into the trap of thinking that if you only try a little harder,  love her a little more, help her with everything, that she'll become the person who know she could be.  (I know how terribly cliche that sounds, but it's a cliche for a reason.)</blockquote>

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