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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Maerdwyn" data-source="post: 1717623" data-attributes="member: 835">(A little blunter, this time, but not out of unkindness.  I won't write more after this unless you'd like me to, and you can take this or leave it, as you choose.) Just to be clear, I think several of us here are saying 'get out'.  While you live with her mother, regardless of her daughter's presence, you are not your own man, and can't know the pride of being your own man that your word show you crave. If you are in a situation you cannot support on your own, you need to get into one you can.   That is, you need to if you want to be thought of, by yourself or anyone else, as an adult.   If you want to have a permanent, adult relationship with this girl, both you and she must relate to each other as adults, without her mother supporting either of you.  Your part is to be a man - at which point you can honestly evaluate whether this girl is acting like the woman you want to spend your life with. At 18, I still had several years of growing up left to do.  That may or may not be the case for you.  But If you are a fully formed adult, there is no reason you cannot find yourself some other living situation, even if it one less desirable, comfortable, or emotionally charged as your current one.  If you are not,  admitting it, and doing something about it would be a big step in maturity.  Children hide mistakes and deny failures.  Mature people recognize and rectify them. College sounds like a good step - it's where I, and a lot of other people in the past few generations have done a lot of their growing up - as long as it's living on campus, and as long as you, like her, have no contact with the mother.  Otherwise college, right there, continuing to live with her mom, is just an expression of the fear that if you leave (the house, Britain, whatever), that you will never get back together with her.  It would be just an attempt to hang on, desperately trying to avoid admitting to yourself that you may have made a mistake, or failed.  Failure is not the worst thing that can happen to a person - perpetuating failure when there are ways to end it, is much worse.</blockquote>

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