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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Obryn" data-source="post: 1721278" data-attributes="member: 11821">Hi, I don't really know you at all, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents here.I don't think you're misrepresenting her to us.  You're presenting her just fine; you're just rationalizing the very real things she's done to you.The simple, basic fact is that she betrayed you, totally and completely.  There might not have been any malice in it, but no matter what the age, there's no excuse.Everyone in this thread knows the basic facts - she cheated on you with someone else before she visited you in the USA and got pregnant.  She knew she was pregnant probably during her stay in the States when she missed her period.  She didn't bother mentioning to you the fact that she was pregnant for several months, and she didn't even tell you herself - you had to find out from the guy who got her pregnant.  She got handfasted to this other guy, and handfasted to you.And she knew all of this before you hopped on that plane.  She could have told you all of it before you left the USA.  She didn't let you make a decision of how you wanted your life to go for yourself; instead she pulled the rug out from under you when you were basically defenseless against it.Unless these details are false, that's enough to know that she is probably not a good person for you to be around.  And if she is saying she loves you, the cold, hard fact is that she's mistaken.  You can't call something with so many levels of betrayal "love."  She's probably young, confused, misled, and deeply sorry for all of this.  I have no doubt she cares for you in some selfish way, too.  But it doesn't matter; until she grows up, she'll do it again and she'll keep playing you for the fool, maliciously or not.You keep insisting that the folks giving you advice here don't know all the details of this relationship.  They don't need to, because the skeletal details are enough.You're talking a lot about not admitting defeat, facing hardship, and being where you wanted to be anyway.  Like I said, I don't know you, but this sounds an awful lot like rationalization to me.  Parts of you still need her around, so you're coming up with excuses to stay close just in case she should come to her senses.  I know this feeling - I've been there.Be coldly, brutally honest with yourself.  I don't think you are right now.  Admit that you've made a mistake, that she's not who you thought she was, and that life without her (while tough for a while) will be better for you in the long run.-O</blockquote>

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