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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mister Mojo" data-source="post: 1721414" data-attributes="member: 13242">I am, as you can see, almost purely a lurker here. So take what I say with that in mind, if you like. But I am speaking from experience.I had a friend once named Mark. Mark was one of the funniest, wittiest, most intelligent and ascerbic people I ever knew. At 18, I surely would have said he was "18 going on 40." I was wrong, of course. Such people generally do not exist.In our senior year, Mark was hanging out with some friends of his from the high school he had attended for his freshman and sophomore year before transferring to my school. While there, he met a girl named Beth. Beth had met one of Mark's friends during a debate competition in DC. Beth lived in Nebraska; Mark's friend lived here in NYC. A long distance relationship was born. But after Beth met Mark, she dumped Mark's friend and embarked on a relationship with him.Fast forward seven months to graduation. Mark takes me and a couple of our other friends aside, smiling happily at Beth ten feet over, and tells us that he's been accepted at one of Nebraska's state universities -- the same one Beth will be attending. My friends and I were apprehensive ... but they seemed to love each other, and if it made him happy, what the heck?Fast forward to September. I'm in my dorm room way upstate, adjusting to classes at college, having been there less than a week. The phone rings. It's my best friend JP, who dishes the gossip that -- *gasp* -- Beth has dumped Mark.Over the next few months the following came out:- Beth broke up with Mark after someone at the girls' side of the dorm took one look at him and said in the most sneering tone imaginable, "THAT's your boyfriend?"- Beth almost immediately took up with another lover -- a woman -- after arriving at the university.- Beth took pictures of herself with this new lover and mailed them to Mark.Mark subsequently found himself halfway across the country, with no friends, no family, and no support network. He nearly committed suicide, and with all the problems he had brought down on himself over this girl, it took him eight years to get a Bachelor's Degree.Your situation is not unique. You do not have any great insight into the world or the human condition. You are a very young man -- practically a boy -- who has gotten in terribly over his head, manipulated and having had your goodwill and charitable nature taken advantage of by a selfish, dishonest young woman who is practically a girl. You have advantages over Mark -- Mark had a horrible relationship with his divorced parents, which is the main reason he did not come back to NYC -- and Mark had one big one over you -- no other man's baby in the picture.You need to go back home, AMG. You are right -- no one here knows this girl, or you, or the sweet nothings you've whispered to each other. But Mark told me something once after he had recovered from HIS disaster when I was having woman problems that I found quite profound:"No, I don't know her, I don't know how she really feels about you, or how you really feel about her. But what I DO know is the effect she's having on you."We see the effect she's having on you. We see it wearing down and doing horrible things to a nice guy who apparently thinks "maturity" means shouldering a thousand times more weight than he needs to.Go back home, AMD. It's not admitting failure to jump out of a house that's burning down around your ears.</blockquote>

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