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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Old One" data-source="post: 1722439" data-attributes="member: 83">Interesting Thread...AMG -It seems like there are 2 issues here...(1) Your Grand Adventure (tm): I envy you this...striking out on your own across the pond, attending University in the UK and experiencing a different place is awesome, IMO.  Plus, you have picked one of my favorite areas...North Wales...fell in love with it after spending some time there a few years ago and can't wait to go back.  I strongly encourage you to continue to pursue your adventure there...live, explore, travel, make life-long friends...it really is the chance of a lifetime.BUT(2) The Betrayal (tm): I understand you need to vent and seek other perspectives.  You have gotten a lot of advice in this area...some of which I agree with and some of which I don't, so I will throw my 2 coppers into the pot <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />.  First, although you feel that you are 18 going on 40, you are still only 18.  I guarantee you that when you are 40, you will look back on this and shake your head, hopefully with a smile on your face.  This is coming from someone who is 41 and who, at 18, thought he was 18 going on 40.  I too struck out from kith and kin at 18 on a grand adventure that led me all over the world.Second, You need some time and distance from the 'girlfriend' and her family.  Although it is safe and convenient to stay with her mother...and they don't get along terribly well right now...blood is thicker than water.  Once that baby arrives, things may change considerably.  Start saving now, look for employment/housing opportunities closer to school...make plans to strike out on your own.  Continuing to provide emotional support for her at the 'Love" level, when she doesn't reciprocate, isn't fair to you and - to put it in game terms - is like willingingly offering up your neck vein to a friendly vampire everytime she needs a little sustanance.Third, don't waste your life waiting for her to 'come around', 'realize the error of her ways', 'see the truth' or any of these other cliches.  My first marriage (too young, for the wrong reasons) was to a woman who didn't return my level of commitment.  I wasted 7 years of my life - from age 27 to age 34 - 'waiting for her to come around'.  What I got instead was several betrayals, several separations and her pregnant with another man's child while we were still technically married.  I see many of the thoughts and feeling I went through reflected in your writings in this post.  Is it possible that things might eventually work out?  Anything is possible, but - and I think you already know this deep down inside and just won't admit it - it is highly unlikely.One thing I know for certain is that unless you walk away, get some time, space and perspective and stop being her emotional crutch, you will never find out.  If you don't walk away, you miss the chance to find someone who truly is your soulmate and will return your love and commitment in equal measure...she is probably out there now...signed up for the same graphic design class or waiting in the cafe across the street, but you will never know if you don't let go.~ Old One</blockquote>

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