Venting

[Rel]

No, though that would be handy. We had a doctor's visit today, and it's offical; my wife had a miscarriage. It was very early in the pregnancy, so no health issues, and it's not uncommon. But now we have to "untell" people she's pregnant (we hadn't told anyone in our families yet, thankfully -- just the woman who cuts my hair (who guessed); a friend that's also pregnant; and another friend.

Like I said, she was only 6-7 weeks along and there were no health complications. It's a kick in the gut, but we hadn't picked out names or baby furniture or clothes or anything. The ob/gyn we saw today said his daughter has had four children and four miscarriages. We'll start trying again in two months; I just hope it doesn't take another year and a half, though.

Ugh. Sorry for the flippant comment then.

We had a close call early in my wife's pregnancy and it felt rotten for a few days not knowing. If it is any consolation, a close friend of ours miscarried less than a year ago and is now 5 months along and doing fine.

I wish you guys peace and luck.

 

[Cthulhu's Librarian]

I'm sorry.

 

[Kanegrundar]

Just cause I need to share a little frustration with -somebody-....

So there's this stuff, see, that's supposed to be easy, but it isn't, always. It hasn't been really difficult, but it's been frustrating and tiring. And just as things are about to get serious, bang, it happens, and everything's good. Nervous, but good. New, and nervous, but good. No big expensive serious stuff, just the usual. Except suddenly it isn't usual, or it is usual up to maybe 25% of the time, and now you're in that 25%, and back to the point where things are going to get serious and expensive. That 25% wasn't life-threatening, or really late in the game -- quite the opposite. It's not infrequent at all. But it's damned well never happened to you, and it's a giant step back, and a heavy blow, all at the same time. And now you gotta go untell people before they say something to the wrong person at the wrong time.

I can handle it...it just, y'know...sucks.

Argh.

I think I understand what you're saying. If I'm right, that does suck and I hope it all works out well in the end.

 

[Dingleberry]

Been there - exactly there - and you have my deepest sympathies. It's a terrible, devastating event - the single worst moment of my life, hands down. Just remember that it happened for a reason: not some "fate has a plan for us" reason, but rather because your wife's body knows what it's doing. It doesn't feel like that now - if your wife is anything like mine, she feels like her body has betrayed her. But it knew this one wasn't right, and did what was necessary. Things would have gotten nothing but worse down the road.

For what it's worth, the next one only took us a few months, and we now have a beautiful 10-month old boy.

 

[Nellisir]

Ugh. Sorry for the flippant comment then.

Don't be. It's nice to smile.

And yeah, life goes on. Cross my fingers and knock on wood, it won't take so blasted LONG this time.

 

[Dingleberry]

And yeah, life goes on. Cross my fingers and knock on wood, it won't take so blasted LONG this time.

Our mantra was "at the end of this adventure, we will have a child", whether by birth or adoption. It was just a question of how much crap we'd have to go through to get there - and the more crap, the more we'd appreciate it when we got there.