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Message: <blockquote data-quote="The Serge" data-source="post: 591919" data-attributes="member: 4049">You'd be missing some great sessions...I don't think anyone's saying that feeling for feeling's sake is okay... and I don't think anyone has an issue with how Xarlen and his player handled this situation.That said, I think it's importantly for both DMs and Players to compromise at times when it comes to the more "mature" and "sophisticated" games.  What both Minscfan and I do in our games is provide very, very romantic games (romantic in the artistic sense).  There's a lot of emotion and a lot of energy.  There's also many psuedo-realistic elements as well.  Rape, incest, mass murder, torture, and the like.  In both our cases, we don't dwell on these elements nor do Players encounter them in every single game.  But they are there and when they show up, such elements are used to highlight just how terrible Evil (and sometimes unconcerned Neutrality or misguided Good) can be.  I don't think Minscfan, myself, or any other DM should feel the need to constantly exclude these elements from our games or spend extra effort in trying to meet everyone's sensibilities.  On the other hand, a DM interested in playing with people will be somewhat sensitive to elements of general "good taste," but I don't think s/he should be burdened by these thoughts constantly.  It's a compromise of goals and desires, but I don't think that a DM should constantly be second-guessing himself any more than Players should be forced to endure what they consider to be harsh and/or offensive.  Both sides should be willing and prepared to deal with the issue.  Minscfan makes this clear in his statement.    Again, I don't see anyone here saying that they as a DM doesn't care about their Players.  What has been said is that a DM cannot be expected to know every possible elements that may be offensive to Players.  In one game I played, an off-screen character committed suicide.  This occured shortly after my brother committed suicide and in the same manner.  The DM had no reason to suddenly sit and figure out if this should be removed from the game.  In this situation, the DM knew me well enough to know that I knew what happened in the game was not necessarily of any relavence to what happens in real-life.  And even if he didn't know me, how many people commit suicide or have been raped, or have been abused, or what-have-you.  If a DM spends all of his/her time trying to second-guess every possible offense, then there is no ability to play because someone may well be offended.  Should the DM have a general idea of what to avoid?  Perhaps, but that can only go so far and one can only expect so much.When I introduce terrible scenes of gang rape or blatant racism in a game, I should not have to suddenly wonder if I've offended someone (case in point, I do, but that's my issue and not one I expect from other DMs).  Sure, perhaps I should be able to clarify my personal feelings about such subject matter from my role as a game master and story teller, but I should not be solely responsible for how a person may react.  It's a two way street and both parties are responsible for where they end up.</blockquote>

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