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<blockquote data-quote="Xarlen" data-source="post: 407174" data-attributes="member: 1060">As to those who aren't sure about why Americans consider themselves 'part this or part that', well, I for one don't know my family lineage as to where they're from, so it's sort've frustrating. I want to know what country my ancestors origionated from, because I think Europe is rather neat. Being American is all grand and such, but for one thing, we get a bit of critisim, so it's good to have connections elsewhere.I have a few jokes:Q: What's that black stuff between an elephant's toes?A: Slow natives. Heaven is getting full. So God decrees that they need to be a little more selective with letting folks into Heaven. St. Peter decides to allow those in who died the most amusing ways. The first day this new thing goes into effect, he's standing idly by the Pearly Gates, waiting. The first guy walks up. &quot;Hi.&quot; &quot;Hey, how'd you die?&quot; &quot;Well, you see, I had this hunch my wife was cheating on me, right? So I drove to our apartment, went up on the 5th floor, and the door was locked. I opened it, I searched all through the house, and she was there naked in bed, but I couldn't find him. So I look out the balcany and I see him! Well, I run out onto the balcany, stomp on his fingers, and he falls. Right into the bushes. He's safe. I run into the kitchen, since it's next to the bedroom, I grab the fridge, push it out onto the balcany, and shove it off. *Splat* he's a gonner.&quot;St. Peter's hiding a grin, despite his interest. &quot;So how'd you die?&quot;&quot;Well, y'see, the cord wrapped around my ankle...&quot;&quot;Go on in.&quot;So, the next person comes up. &quot;How'd you die?&quot; St. Peter asks.&quot;Okay, I'm doing aerobics on my balcany, right? Here I am, doing my thing, and I slip. I fall off my balcany on the 6th floor! I'm dead for sure! But I catch the edge of the balcany under me, right? Well, then this ***hole comes out, starts stomping my fingers,&quot; At this point St. Peter is biting his lip to stop from chuckling, &quot;And I fall. I land in the bushes. I'm saved!&quot; St. Peter can barely hear him for the laughing. &quot;And he drops a FRIDGE on me.&quot;&quot;Okay, okay,&quot; He says snickering, &quot;Go on in.&quot;So, the third guy walks up, and casually comments to St. Peter, &quot;Y'know, you're not going to believe how I got here. So, I go to see my lady friend, but her husband gets home, so I hide in the fridge...&quot;</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Xarlen, post: 407174, member: 1060"] As to those who aren't sure about why Americans consider themselves 'part this or part that', well, I for one don't know my family lineage as to where they're from, so it's sort've frustrating. I want to know what country my ancestors origionated from, because I think Europe is rather neat. Being American is all grand and such, but for one thing, we get a bit of critisim, so it's good to have connections elsewhere. I have a few jokes: Q: What's that black stuff between an elephant's toes? A: Slow natives. Heaven is getting full. So God decrees that they need to be a little more selective with letting folks into Heaven. St. Peter decides to allow those in who died the most amusing ways. The first day this new thing goes into effect, he's standing idly by the Pearly Gates, waiting. The first guy walks up. "Hi." "Hey, how'd you die?" "Well, you see, I had this hunch my wife was cheating on me, right? So I drove to our apartment, went up on the 5th floor, and the door was locked. I opened it, I searched all through the house, and she was there naked in bed, but I couldn't find him. So I look out the balcany and I see him! Well, I run out onto the balcany, stomp on his fingers, and he falls. Right into the bushes. He's safe. I run into the kitchen, since it's next to the bedroom, I grab the fridge, push it out onto the balcany, and shove it off. *Splat* he's a gonner." St. Peter's hiding a grin, despite his interest. "So how'd you die?" "Well, y'see, the cord wrapped around my ankle..." "Go on in." So, the next person comes up. "How'd you die?" St. Peter asks. "Okay, I'm doing aerobics on my balcany, right? Here I am, doing my thing, and I slip. I fall off my balcany on the 6th floor! I'm dead for sure! But I catch the edge of the balcany under me, right? Well, then this ***hole comes out, starts stomping my fingers," At this point St. Peter is biting his lip to stop from chuckling, "And I fall. I land in the bushes. I'm saved!" St. Peter can barely hear him for the laughing. "And he drops a FRIDGE on me." "Okay, okay," He says snickering, "Go on in." So, the third guy walks up, and casually comments to St. Peter, "Y'know, you're not going to believe how I got here. So, I go to see my lady friend, but her husband gets home, so I hide in the fridge..." [/QUOTE]

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