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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Michael Morris" data-source="post: 2469245" data-attributes="member: 87">Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.Man (to Waitress): Morning!Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!Man: Well, what've you got?Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornaysauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and auberginesgarnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.Wife: Have you got anything without spam?Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.Wife: I don't want ANY spam!Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?Waitress: Eewwww!Wife: What do you mean 'Eewwww'? I don't like spam!Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!Waitress: Shut up!Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can'thave egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam!Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!</blockquote>

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