"Well, he ripped me a new..."

[Storminator]

OK, a ridiculous game story follows, and it may be a bit...scatological ... for some.

I'm running a game for my son (16), and a couple of his friends. His friends are both relative newbies. This is their first game, and we've been going for 3 sessions.

I'm running Swarm, from a Dungeon mag. The PCs are ranging all over a mountain top, looking for a goblin lair. They have an old map, with a few locations marked out, and they are visiting them in hopes some useful clue turns up.

They reach a ledge over a ravine, and this location is another dead end. They decide to camp for the night.

I'm checking the module to make sure I'm not missing anything, and I read the section about the dire bat at the bottom of the ravine. It says that unless the PCs disturb it in its lair (way down the ravine, no chance I figure), or make a ton of noise at the top (they've been extremely paranoid about camps and I figure there's no chance of that either), the bat ignores them.

As I'm reading this passage, one of the newbies yells (yes, he yells it) "hey! We've been on this mountain for 6 days, and we haven't been to the bathroom once!" I look up in stunned silence, and all three boys start going off about their character's excrement, and how they are going in the ravine... I'll spare you the actual comments.

So I roll the attitude die (thank you Leopold!). The dire bat is angry. And it attacks. Everyone misses the listen check, the bat surprises the PCs, and what the heck, bites the cleric in the rear. A short combat ensues, where PCs have to pull up their drawers (again, I'll spare you the comments), and some fight with penalties because they're holding up their pants. The bat bites the cleric in the rear again, dropping him to -4 hp. The dwarf dispatches the bat.

And my son, playing the cleric, deadpans, "well, he ripped me a new ..."

I'm pretty sure this was the most absurd thing I've ever seen happen in a game.

PS

 

[Grazzt]

LOL- most interesting.

Once, when I was DMing a game in my 1e campaign for some friends (my brother included in there)....they were traveling through a city and as they were walking down one of the streets they heard a yell from above. Glancing up, the fighter saw a woman throw the contents of a chamber pot from the window. I had the fighter roll a save (against Breath Weapon, IIRC) and he missed. So, he got doused with the contents.

Now, the party continues on, fighter included. Never even stopped to clean up, wash off, etc.

Trekking through the wilderness in the blazing sun, they realize that there seemed to be a stench coming from one of the characters....the fighter, who repeatedly refused to take the time to clean his armor, gear, etc. (no idea why, he just didnt wanna bother I guess)

So, the rest of the party, rather than give him some sort of ultimatum or cast some minor spell on him to force him to clean his stuff...they pick him up and toss him head first into a nearby lake, thus cleaning him, his gear, etc. (Course, the fighter did sink to the bottom and they had to spend time recovering his gear and whatnot, but that's another story.)

 

[Aeolius]

...they realize that there seemed to be a stench coming from one of the characters...

I am suddenly tempted to create an adventure for centaur PCs. I shall call it "Hoof Hearted".

 

[Aeolius]

The bat bites the cleric in the rear again, dropping him to -4 hp.

An apt opportunity to inflict vampirism or lycanthropy, eh?

"Okay, so I said it was a dire bat, but this is way cooler. Your PC was bitten by a vampire in bat form...no, wait...a were-bat...that's it!"

 

[Grazzt]

An apt opportunity to inflict vampirism or lycanthropy, eh?

"Okay, so I said it was a dire bat, but this is way cooler. Your PC was bitten by a vampire in bat form...no, wait...a were-bat...that's it!"

LOL- that would be cool.

 

[Grazzt]

Speaking of absurd...here's another one from my 1e campaign oh so many years ago.

The party was fighting a vampire/magic-user. The vamp changed to mist form. One of the characters thought it would be cool to capture him in a magical bottle to prevent his escape. So, using magic, luck, dexterity, etc...I let them pull the mist into the bottle.

Then the unthinkable happened. One of the characters, another fighter if I remember correctly, decided he would dispose of the vampire forever by SWALLOWING THE MIST. So he did it. I guess I was feeling evil that day, cause I had him make a saving throw when the vamp rematerialized/solidified inside his body. Needless to say the fighter failed the save, his body exploded in a blast of bone, blood, and organs. (The party did finally and eventually resurrect the poor guy, and I guess he learned his lesson cause he never did anything like that again.)

 

[Aeolius]

...decided he would dispose of the vampire forever by SWALLOWING THE MIST.

So, he was vaporized?

 

[Hypersmurf]

Your PC was bitten by a vampire in bat form...no, wait...a were-bat...that's it!"

I infected the party monk with lycanthropy a couple of years back.

She got bitten by a giant black carnivorous flying were-squirrel.

-Hyp.

 

[Majere]

Funny moment :
My quasit familiar with see invis spotting an invis medusa and failing its save. It was a 16st satue. Unfortunately we had a paladin in the group and while petrified the familiar souldnt supress its evil aura.. the paladin promptly attack my invisible statue famiiar.

Commard "W*nk* (Saving throw failed)

A warhammer campeign in which the two dwarf fighters started fighting in the first 2 minutes. PC death in the first 10 minutes of a session.

Rufus the paladin who had continual flame cast on his plate mail. Now sing withme...
"The Rufus, The Rufus, The Rufusu on fire... "

The fighter who set himself alight as a distraction. (He pourde brandy on himself and lit it)