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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Unwise" data-source="post: 6489514" data-attributes="member: 98008">Hi folks, I just wanted to start a resource here that GMs can refer back to. I have found over the years, that when PCs enter a room or stumble across some guards, it really adds to the game immensely to have the guards doing something believable but mildly interesting. There is nothing more boring than "You see a room with four guards in it". Why are they there? What are they doing? To that end, I want to make a list of interesting (and sometimes slightly comical) things that the guards can be doing. if you have ever spent time in an army barracks, you will know that soldiers always find interesting ways to occupy themselves.1) The Penis GameThe guards are in close proximity to the VIP, it works best in a formal environment, like a throne room. One of them say "Penis" in a soft voice. The next then says it slightly louder. The next says it slightly louder again etc. The loser is the guy that chickens out and refuses to say it even louder. My PCs found it hilarious to prestidigitation a booming "PEEENNIIIISSS" making it sound like it came from the last guy. The BBEGs reaction was priceless too.2) The Drill SargentThe scene from Full Metal Jacket is playing out. The leader is berating the guards for their lack of awareness and discipline. He keeps dropping funny insults or unintentional innuendos, maybe with a funny speech patterns/impediment/vocabulary that belies the severity of his threats.. The poor soldiers are trying not to crack up laughing. Those that do are viciously punished. Ironically, his berating of them for not paying attention has them at disadvantage to see the PCs sneaking up. The sergeant will critically fail any perception checks and beat any soldier that steps out of line or tries to tell him about the PCs sneaking up.3) Existential OrcsTwo guards are standing there, discussing the meaning of it all. "Do you ever wonder why we are here?""Are we pillaging the humans by our own free will or are we just slaves to the dark whims of our creator? Is our whole existence just some cruel joke played upon the rest of the world by a mad god? What if I wanted to be a dancer? Could I do it? I mean, I don't want to be a dancer, but is that my choice? Or was I just made to prefer smashing human skulls? I do love it, don't get me wrong, but was it my choice?4) Are We the Bad Guys?Two or more guards talking "Hey guys, have you ever noticed the amount of skulls on our uniforms? Any idea why our armour is all painted black? It just has me a little worried you know. I mean, is it possible that we are the bad guys? I mean, the people of Avalorn have noble eagles and rearing unicorns and stuff on their heraldry. We have a skull eating a smaller skull, what is that anyway? Is that a baby skull? Why are we dressing all in black with skulls and flames and stuff, shouldn't we dress like heroes? For reference: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK-kWRAVmRU" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK-kWRAVmRU</a>5) The Ghost StoryA skilled tale teller is regaling the guards with the horrible story of the local ghost. He is really good and the audience in enraptured. They are all at disadvantage to fear checks, but not perception as they are jumpy now. Are your PCs creative enough to use this to their advantage? If the PCs listen long enough, unbeknownst to them, they get some good knowledge about the very real ghost in this area. The bad news is, they also get disadvantage to fear checks when it suddenly reveals itself later.6) Good DiagnosisThe guard on point is talking to his friend, telling him that he just got the results back from the doctor, he does not have a cancer on his liver, he is going to live after all. He is so relieved, he is near tears. "I'm going to live, thank the gods, I am going to live!". Dark humour ensues.7) Retiring, Buying the Farm and Marrying that GirlOne guy is talking about how he is two weeks from retirement and can't wait. The other is talking about how after his tour is over he is going to settle down and ask Mary-Lou to marry him. Are the PCs compassionate enough to forgo fulfilling a TV Trope?8) Forbidden LoveOne dwarf adjusts his mail "Thorin, I see the way you look at me sometimes...You know, there are not a lot of female dwarves...These mines are deep, they hold many secrets…yes sirree...what happens in the mines stays in the mines..."Please contribute any interesting situations you have used or plan to use in the future. I think this could be a fun resource for GMs. I'll post more later I hope.</blockquote>

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