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Message: <blockquote data-quote="SnowDog" data-source="post: 1241444" data-attributes="member: 2225">You've gotten a lot of good advice here -- here's a couple more comments.- Do not discuss this with her in front of the group.  She'll feel pressured.- When discussing it, be careful not to put the pressure on her at all.  - Be open, be honest, and be ready to accept that she just might not enjoy the game the way you guys play it.- Bring genre into it.  Maybe she'd be really into a modern game, but can't relate to fantasy.  It sounds like she's given you great feedback about what's missing, but she's also aware that some of it is her fault (attention span issues).  You may be able to adjust your game style to fit her personality, and if you can, that's great.  Or you may find that to make her happy would require gutting your game so much that none of your other players would be having fun.Instead of boring you with my long "my wife tried to game" story, I'll supply you with a single quote that helped me understand the schism between people who have been playing D&D all their lives and the "rest of the world" <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />.We were watching Fellowship of the Ring, and my wife turned to me (I forget the scene) and said, "I just realized ... this is what you guys are picturing when you're playing your game."Well, duh, yeah!But clearly that jump had never happened in her mind.  As fantasy fans, we rely on a lot of shared experiences for our shorthand with each other.  That shorthand means nothing to people outside our world.  Think about that next time you're describing a village, an Inn, or a battlefield.  If necessary, map it to something outside our normal shorthand.  Describe the tavern as being similar to the Pub you've all had dinner at.  Describe NPCs by comparing them to actors in movies, or friends, or celebrities.  Call out the similarity between a battlefield and a scene in a movie.  If she hasn't seen it, you know you've got work to do.  Etc.</blockquote>

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