Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.
Enchanted Trinkets Complete--a hardcover book containing over 500 magic items for your D&D games!

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mark Hope" data-source="post: 2787265" data-attributes="member: 27051">I felt compelled to hurt myself for understanding that one.I also keep a file with quotes from here and elsewhere that have tickled my fancy.  There are lots in there, but these are my absolute favourites.  However, I never bother to note the source, so to all of those who I am now quoting without atribution, my apologies (except for the first one, because I happen to remember that it's by George Bernard Shaw, and he's dead anyway):We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.I wonder why they don't complain that in Chess, the queen is 'broken', bishops only being able to move diagonally is 'unrealistic', and that castles shouldn't even be allowed to move at all?Offering unique dice to gamers is like waving a gold chain in front of a pimp.Some people may think they're puttin' it to the Man by wearing their d20 hate on their sleeve, but really, the Man wouldn't know a d12 from a Dee Snider. The Man thinks we're all stupid dorks.Run my little chunks of XP, Run!!Actually, I dislike the term “undead”. I'd appreciate it if you referred to us as “differently alive”. Or “vitally challenged” if you like.The whole idea is that there isn't just one cosmic force about to destroy Creation, there's a whole bunch of cosmic (and not-so-cosmic) forces that are all about to destroy Creation. Between declining empires of elemental supermen, zombie hordes, vengeful elder ghosts, dead primal gods, imprisoned demon-Titans, Cthulhu elves, Satanic pirates, necrophagic dinosaur-men, miscellaneous ancient artifact/WMDs, international mercantile conspiracies, curse-addled reality ninjas, Conan-wannabe werewolves, assorted Godzilla-knockoffs, well-meaning but terminally misguided anime heroes, mutants up the wazoo, and the Machine God and his Aztec Cyborgs™, Creation is about ten seconds away from getting gang-banged to death by every epic-fantasy cliché in the book all at once.*roll* No, you don't find any traps, and in fact that big red lever over there appears to be made out of candy! Einstein couldn't just be a rather clever German; he has to be Viscount Einstein of Earth's Lost Moon, Prince of the Laser Lobsters, who created relativity in a psychic duel with Hitler's cyber-clone and the Anti-Pope Francis Bacon.NOBODY expects the D&D rules revision! Our chief change is the ranger. And the druid. Our TWO chief changes are the ranger and the druid and the way magic spells work. Arg! Our three chief changes are the ranger, the druid, the way magic works and shiny new covers I'LL COME IN AGAIN!God grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, AND FLAMETHROWERS FOR HANDS!!!And my all time #1 that should be branded into the flesh of all DMs everywhere:No storyline survives contact with the players.</blockquote>

Verification