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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Thunderfoot" data-source="post: 2404485" data-attributes="member: 34175">My first post and I wwalk in to a TROLL - what a rube... Now for all that have posted I appreciate your candor and spirit.  Of course southerners and northerners both think they have the best of this and that and we that originally hale from those places in the heartland just smile and nod our heads sympathetically - basically because y'all are a bunch of blow hards. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />  As for real BBQ - let's go to school shall we - First the dry stuff - Ok, I'll give the Texans credit where its due - Beef brisket, dry rubbed in a vinegar marinade is quite tasty - but once it's been smoked - get rid of that nasty sweet, smokey Texan sauce - it's like putting sugar in corn bread - <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f631.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":eek:" title="Eek!    :eek:"  data-smilie="9"data-shortname=":eek:" />  As for the Carolinians, dry smoked pork is quite tasty. It should be sliced, not pulled or shredded and hung for at least 4 hours in the smokehouse before cooking - but mustard based suaces are best left to chicken.  Smother in somethin' rich and sassy - tomatoe based but cayanne kissed. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />  Now for the wet stuff -Ribs are better wet - end of story - Wet St. Louis style ribs win hands down - If you don't have to wear a bib and gloves to stay clean, you either have bad ribs or you aren't tryin' hard enough.  It ain't good unless you get some on ya'!  Sauce should be smokey and sweet but have a fire as well - not hot for hot's sake, but tasty enough you should be tastin' it all night. Wet pulled pork is alright, but I prefer wet chicken - drag out that Carolina mustard and drown that poultry!  Fire up your grill and cook til' it sizzles! Oh-boy, we cookin' now.   Fixins - BBQ ain't BBQ without extrasFirst off Corn on the cob - now with all due respects to the other parts of the country - If it doesn't come from Illinois, Missouri or Iowa (and maybe a few places in So. Indiana) YOUR CORN SUCKS!!!  Have it trucked in and taste the sweetest, largest, most tender stuff from God's green earth.  Boil it in buttered water or roast it over an open flame; it will set off the firey BBQ with a smooth, buttery taste. Beans - no offense to Boston (they rock) but they don't quite go with BBQ, go with a Mississippi, shredded pork added baked bean, maybe with some peppers or onions added in for taste - add the hottest roasted tomatoe style sauce you can find - live in Nirvana Coleslaw - I can't stand it, but a Southern style, low milk (ie - dry style) works best with BBQ.  However, wet style will work with chicken, ala KFC (I still haven't figured out why) Potatoes - Mashed or smashed (not whipped) with butter and a touch of roasted garlic (enhances the fire from the BBQ sauce).  Potato salad works, but cools the suace flavor instead of enhances.  If that's what you want - go for it. Green beans or 3-bean salad - I like it, a much better cooling food than potato salad in my book and has much more interesting flavor and texture.  Plain green beans should be boiled to al dente' not mush so as to contrast the floppy BBQ'd meat.  Give your mouth somethin' to do! Desert - King's choice - pretty much anything goes - Southern style apple pie, northern style apple mush/crumbles, peach cobbler, blueberry buckle, chocloate mousse (or moose if your Alaskan), what ever floats your boat! Drinks - Wine is right out!  I love wine with good food, it just doesn't work - not even a garbage can wine cooler (If you don't know what that is, ask a California beach bum) <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f60e.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":cool:" title="Cool    :cool:"  data-smilie="6"data-shortname=":cool:" />   Beer works - but get rid of that cheap American crap - watered down horse whizz!  Grow some hair on your chest and pick something with some flavor for God's sake!  A smooth red ale work well with Beef and a stout goes well with pork, a pale lauger works with chicken, but play around.  Iced tea is however, the Queen's choice for accompanying BBQ (with lemonade right behind) t4ea should be sweet - lemonade tart (but not bitter).  Do the southern thing and seve your tea with crumbled up corn bread in it. (Yep, you heard me)  (see corn bread below) Corn bread - Ah, nature's most perfect food (or at least one of them)  Southerner's have the right idea, northern's learn how to do it right - first off corn bread is not cake minus the icing!!!  If you make your corn bread in anything other than a cast iron skillet, stop right now and go get one!  Corn bread should be flat, not fluffy, crumbly but not hard - dark golden brown on top and bottom, and a soft lemon yellow in the center.  It shouldn't clump or be moist and it shouldn't have a sheen on top of it (Charlie, Martin or otherwise)!  If you've had it this way and think it's too dry - please do us all a favor and have yourself beaten. <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/laugh.png"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" />  Hope this settles all this BBQ non-sence!  Now - LET's EAT!!! The above statements, while true are characterized in a tongue in cheek manner - if you were offend by the tone, please understand it was not meant personally as I have probably never met you.  However, I stand by my statements and the candor of my speech.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /> </blockquote>

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