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Message: <blockquote data-quote="robaustin" data-source="post: 1071078" data-attributes="member: 2703">Afrodyte - have you read "Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus"?  If not - it's worth a read - a lot of what you are detailing comes from the base differences in the two sexes and the way they communicate. Granted, not all of it is explained that way - but a lot of it is.  Let me take this point by point:>>>1. Why is it that male gamers are often so condescending? If I ask a question, why does it seem like they think I am completely ignorant? Whether they know the answer or don't even understand the question, why is it that I often get the answer I'd say was reserved for (to put it politely) the lowest common denominator? <<<Because gaming is - like many other aspects of our society - male dominated and is very much like a "boys' club" - there isn't much you can do about this except earn their respect through playing with them and showing them you can run and keep up with them.>>>2. Why is it that when I'm cranky or touchy, I'm suddenly thrust into the position of being a representative of all female gamers instead of just having that kind of day?<<<Because guys do not communicate emotion very often - so your emotions are often seen by them as over the top IN THEIR MIND. To show emotions for males is to show weakness.>>>3. How come guys often state their opinions as facts, and their requests as demands? Now, I would concur that this is probably less a male-female interaction thing than varying definitions of what it means to be tactful. However, when I'm communicating, guys often mistake my saying, "I feel that..." for "It is an indisputable fact that..." <<<Because guys are problem solvers - they are looking for the solution, not the opinion.>>>What's worse, I often feel like they expect me to be more conscientious regarding their feelings than they are of mine. Why is it that so many guys think that saying, "Please don't do (whatever it was I did to upset them) again" is completely reasonable, but my saying, "Listen, John, when you do/say XYZ, it makes me think you believe I'm (insert unflattering adjective here)" is me being hypersensitive?<<<Because you're the woman - you're supposed to feel, and respond with feeling.  They're not.>>>4. Must guys have an opinion for eeeeeverything? Is every statement up for debate? Why is it that guys often take a difference of opinion or preference as an opportunity to convert me to their way of seeing things? It doesn't matter what it is. Why do they always try to win, even if there's nothing to win in the first place? <<<Because men are solution finders, they are hunters.  They are supposed to go out, kill the animal and come home to eat it.  Seriously.  You think this base stuff isn't in their brains still?  It sure is!>>>What's so infuriating about all this is that so much could be nipped at the bud by applying a little bit of forethought and a little bit of awareness that people are different but still deserving of the same respect<<<And the guys whom you game with haven't figured out how to communicate with women and understand the way the female brain works.  They need to read the book too.Seriously - this is all communication stuff - it's all about the differences in the way males and females communicate and act. Once you understand it, you can begin to adjust your behavior accordingly, and so can they - if they're willing.--*Rob</blockquote>

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