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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Teflon Billy" data-source="post: 1071170" data-attributes="member: 264">I know in my group, a certain knowledge of the rules is expected, and if anyone were to ask a question, they most likely would be treated as if they were completely ignorant--and the answer framed for the lowest common denominator. It's mostly just in an effort to get the question answered. There's really too little game time to waste much trying to ascertain the "proper" way to answer a question so as not to make a person feel persecuted.You ask a question. You get an answer. It doesn't get more simple than that. Complaining about it would get on my nerves, and I don't think that's gender-basedClassic. When someoine is "cranky or touchy" around me, they don't get Kid-Glove treatment in an effort to make their gaming experience more enjoyable. They get told to smarten the F*** up, or take it home...this would include the guys who are hassling you incidentally. But Hassling each other is how guys interact. You've chosen to game with a group of guys. Adapt. Constantly being on them to adapt to your needs is likely a reason I would "always see you losing patience with me" and "never question myself on why (I am) irksome"If I was playing with a group of women and my behaviour was objectionable to them I wouldn't expect them to start behaving like my guy friends. I would go with the majority or leave.This a group game, group dynamics rule the day. Don't be so hard on them for being guys. This generation (mine) has been trained that women are no different than men. You may well be being treated like they treat each other. If so, congrats. The revolution my mother's generation set in motion has succeeded<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Again, my game time is far to limited for it to be used to coddle people who can't keep their Crankiness or Touchiness under control..gender doesn't enter into it.Well, like I said above, they are interacting with each other the way guys interact with each other. If you want a round table "My feelings ..." type discussion about every facet of your emotional state, I'd say look elsewhere than a largely male group of D&D players.It's like looking for water in the desert: It's there, but it's amid an awful lot of sand.Because it sounds like touchy-feely new age psychobabble is why.If the message your trying to get across is... "Please don't do (whatever)"They why frame it as..."Listen, John, when you do/say XYZ, it makes me think you believe I'm (insert unflattering adjective here)"?Again, if we're generalizing; men are "goal oriented" (we want the question out, answered and to move on) while women are process oriented (you want the question examined from every single angle, all the while making sure that the questions are framed so as to not ofend anyones sensibilities).You're talking to guys. Talk like a guy. You mention above that you kow how to, and are aware what works. Go with that.It's called debate. It how people find workable standards. If you want it to stop, just say "This is simply opinion, there's no "right" answer here" and refuse to discuss it further.Somehow I suspect you aren't alking about game-related issues here.The irony is so rich here, I could cut it with a knife.Well, it's a hard lesson to learn. When you take people to task constantly for what they believe to be "small-potatoes" you don't get to be thought of as a forward thinking facilitator. I'm sure that you honestly think of your actions as simply "starting to let people know", but I asure you that it's coming across as preachy.Preachiness doesn't winds friends or influence people. It makes people avoid you.I live to serve.</blockquote>

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