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Message: <blockquote data-quote="fusangite" data-source="post: 1073135" data-attributes="member: 7240">Kahuna Burger makes a series of criticisms of behaviour as objectively bad in all situations; while her criticisms might be appropriate for behaviour in the public sphere, in public institutions, they have no place in the world of D&D.Each D&D group is its own miniature discourse community. The nature of that community is based not on some set of absolute social standards but on the standards the DM and players collectively develop. Afrodyte is operating in a discourse community with a different set of standards; because this group is not a trade union, political party, church or other public institutions, it has no obligation whatsoever to adapt its standards to mainstream society's. I was in a poker game for several years in which sexist, racist and homophobic remarks were very much the order of the day. Most of the players were friends of mine who were perfectly enjoyable company outside of the poker game. My reaction to this was not to demand that these people's behaviour conform to the norms of society so that I could feel comfortable; my response was to leave the game because I didn't fit in and playing poker with these people made the rest of my friendship with them less fun. If a group dynamic is not to your liking, it is pointless to find it "objectively bad" and rail against it. The solution is to spend your time in a group dynamic that is more to your liking. It is not okay for us to encourage Afrodyte to stay in the group and try to change it because she is somehow objectively right. That course of action will make it less fun for the players in that group who will, in turn, make it less fun for Afrodyte. This gaming circle is not the Little Rock public school system -- there's no public issue here. It's just a bunch of guys who want to get together once a week and be who they feel like being. Kahuna Burger's comments only make sense if D&D games are somehow re-classified into the public sphere. While her comments might make sense if we were talking about weekly meetings of a political party, or executive meetings of the Chamber of Commerce, they have absolutely no place in discussing voluntary, non-exclusive, private, recreational associations. The state doesn't register D&D games; D&D games don't charge membership fees; we don't all get annual licenses from the national D&D players' association. The same bill of rights which promises freedom from discrimination also promises freedom of assembly and association.It is destructive for us to suggest that Afrodyte hang in there because she is "right"; she should be spending her energies creating a better, different gaming group that is actually fun. I would recommend one that has a higher female to male ratio so that the social dynamic that is created is more neutral and woman-friendly -- not because it's objectively better but based on the vastly more important criterion that it would be more fun for her.</blockquote>

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