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Message: <blockquote data-quote="takyris" data-source="post: 1091908" data-attributes="member: 5171">When my wife and I were doing pre-marital counseling, we took these little personality tests.  Both she and I tested off the charts for sensitivity (seeing what somebody else is feeling) and empathy (changing your feelings as a result of what somebody else is feeling).  As a result, we spend far too much time asking each other how we feel and if we're really just stressed from work or if there's something we can do to help and all kinds of overdiscussion would drive ordinary people insane.So perhaps I'm just amazingly perceptive in my relationships with people.  I usually alter my behavior to reflect the person, not the person's gender.  I find some behavior to be true in many females and some behavior to be true in many males, but once I actually KNOW the person, that generalization ceases to be useful or helpful.  I think that most people would agree with that -- it's just a question of how long it takes individual people to get from "Generalization of Person Based on What I Know About Them" to "Individual Interaction Methodology Based on Personal Understanding".  Some people are faster than others.Short answers to long thread:1) I don't see the guys as jerks, necessarily.  I wasn't there.  Could be ribbing, could be jerkdom, could be honest miscommunication.2) Any time there's a new person, the dynamic changes.  People have already said quite intelligently that, whatever kind of person the new person is, the group should decide to what level they're willing to bend to make the new person feel welcome.  There's no rule that they have to bend at all, but most new people are friends of somebody who's already in there, so it's generally nice to at least be somewhat polite.  But it's unreasonable to expect the group to bend over backwards for the new person, and it should be  the responsibility of the person inviting the new person in to a) gauge whether the new person is going to enjoy the existing dynamic and b) figure out what might need to change, and figure out whether it's possible and worth it to change it.3) Stereotypes about women being overemotional and men being insensitive are often accurate.  Just as often, they lead to amusing and ironic self-fulfilling prophecies.4) I've had two women in my long-term campaign at various times. One left because she was moving.  The other left because she broke up with the guy she was dating, who was another player.  He was a bit of a jerk, and I'd have preferred to see him go (and later did in fact get rid of him), but it wasn't my choice at the time, since the jerkdom was happening behind my back.5) There are enough inroads to gaming now that the old "they're more creative/intelligent" thing no longer applies, if indeed it ever did.  My group has brilliant creative folks as well as pinheads without a creative thought in their head as well as flakes who are creative but can't figure out the rules.  When you've got drama geeks and CRPGers both coming in, you're gonna be all over the place, personality-wise.6) Wish I could meet some of you in person.  Sounds like it'd be interesting and fun and different.</blockquote>

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