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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 9817079" data-attributes="member: 177">I think you misinterpret the issue in a maximally negative light.&nbsp; It has nothing to do with a zero-sum game.&nbsp; When you go out to dinner with your friends, do you always go to your own personal first choice of restaurant?&nbsp; Do all your friends have the exact same first choice of restaurant, each and every time?&nbsp; Probably not.&nbsp; Somewhere in there, some person or people are accepting the choice as &quot;good enough&quot;.&nbsp;&nbsp; That is a sense in which these tradeoffs happen.&nbsp; We are all enjoying things together, but we should not claim or pretend that things we enjoy together don't entail tradeoffs.&nbsp; Maybe the time is awkward for the new parent in the group.&nbsp; Maybe the movie has some sexist jokes that one person thinks are unfunny.&nbsp; Maybe someone at the meal doesn't like cheese, and so on.It pays to pay some attention to that, though, because by a sum of individual choices that each seem &quot;good enough&quot;, you can end up with someone in a bad place - like with your vegan friend trying to find a way to assemble a meal out of side dishes at a meat-forward BBQ joint.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 9817079, member: 177"] I think you misinterpret the issue in a maximally negative light. It has nothing to do with a zero-sum game. When you go out to dinner with your friends, do you always go to your own personal first choice of restaurant? Do all your friends have the exact same first choice of restaurant, each and every time? Probably not. Somewhere in there, some person or people are accepting the choice as "good enough". That is a sense in which these tradeoffs happen. We are all enjoying things together, but we should not claim or pretend that things we enjoy together don't entail tradeoffs. Maybe the time is awkward for the new parent in the group. Maybe the movie has some sexist jokes that one person thinks are unfunny. Maybe someone at the meal doesn't like cheese, and so on. It pays to pay some attention to that, though, because by a sum of individual choices that each seem "good enough", you can end up with someone in a bad place - like with your vegan friend trying to find a way to assemble a meal out of side dishes at a meat-forward BBQ joint. [/QUOTE]

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