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What makes stupidity fatal?
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<blockquote data-quote="Moe Ronalds" data-source="post: 523678" data-attributes="member: 2083"><p>I don't really have stupid players, but every group I have seems to contain ONE stupid player.</p><p></p><p>In Sunless Citadel, first level characters. Action.</p><p></p><p>Me: A small, dog-like, lizard-like, humanoid creature in robes sits upon a small throne. She obviously holds some position of power, judging by the many other creatures bowing to her. On a nearby altar, she has several valuable looking possessions.</p><p></p><p>Player1: Hello, be you leader?</p><p></p><p>Player2: I walk up and take out my sword.</p><p></p><p>DM: Are you sure?</p><p></p><p>Player 2: Yes.</p><p></p><p>DM: Alright. Upon seeing you take arms against her, the robed figure mutters a few words. (Player fails save). You're now in a large block of webbing, and the creatures surrounding the robed figure all look angry.</p><p></p><p>Player 2: I turn around and fart in her face!</p><p></p><p>DM: You what?</p><p></p><p>Player2: You heard me!</p><p></p><p>DM: You sure you want to do that?</p><p></p><p>Player2: Yes!</p><p></p><p>DM: You sure?</p><p></p><p>Player2: YES ALREADY!</p><p></p><p>DM: Roll up a new character.</p><p></p><p>(Player2 is the same guy in my sig by the way)</p><p></p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Rogue: Alright, I head into the dungeon and check for traps.</p><p></p><p>Monk: Wait! Before you do that, the BEST way to find traps is to stomp down on the floor REALLY HARD. This way, if you trigger anything, you'll get it stuck in place and nothing will activate.</p><p></p><p>Rogue: Really?</p><p></p><p>Monk: Yeah!</p><p></p><p>DM(Later): And you want your new character to be a bard you say?</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>And my personal favorite...</p><p></p><p>Rogue: I go into the general store.</p><p></p><p>DM: the store is selling a few cheap, normal peasent goods as well as food.</p><p></p><p>Rogue: DO you have any swords?</p><p></p><p>Shopkeep: No.</p><p></p><p>Rogue: Do you have any SHORTswords?</p><p></p><p>Shopkeep: NO. </p><p></p><p>Rogue: Are you sure?</p><p></p><p>Shopkeep: BUy something or leave. </p><p></p><p>Rogue: What about daggers?</p><p></p><p>Necromancer: I enter and ask to buy food for my familiar.</p><p></p><p>Shopkeep: We don't serve your kind here, OUT.</p><p></p><p>Necromancer: All I want is some birdseed!</p><p></p><p>Druid: I enter and hit him with my club.</p><p></p><p>DM: Alright well the old man keels over. Wondering what the ruccus is, the town millitia enters.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>DM: [Rogue], the town guard walks up to you. They're holding a wanted poster with your face on it.</p><p></p><p>Rogue: I stab them!</p><p></p><p>DM: You miss. They hit you with their longswords. You are now at... 3 HP. </p><p></p><p>Monk(who has recently joined town guard): What's the difficulty here?</p><p></p><p>Rogue: I run away.</p><p></p><p>Monk: I follow</p><p></p><p>Rogue: I keep running.</p><p></p><p>DM: You're wearing medium armor.</p><p></p><p>ROgue: So?</p><p></p><p>DM: You're running from a MONK.</p><p></p><p>Rogue: So?</p><p></p><p>DM: Right. *takes out 4 D6's and waits*</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Moe Ronalds, post: 523678, member: 2083"] I don't really have stupid players, but every group I have seems to contain ONE stupid player. In Sunless Citadel, first level characters. Action. Me: A small, dog-like, lizard-like, humanoid creature in robes sits upon a small throne. She obviously holds some position of power, judging by the many other creatures bowing to her. On a nearby altar, she has several valuable looking possessions. Player1: Hello, be you leader? Player2: I walk up and take out my sword. DM: Are you sure? Player 2: Yes. DM: Alright. Upon seeing you take arms against her, the robed figure mutters a few words. (Player fails save). You're now in a large block of webbing, and the creatures surrounding the robed figure all look angry. Player 2: I turn around and fart in her face! DM: You what? Player2: You heard me! DM: You sure you want to do that? Player2: Yes! DM: You sure? Player2: YES ALREADY! DM: Roll up a new character. (Player2 is the same guy in my sig by the way) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rogue: Alright, I head into the dungeon and check for traps. Monk: Wait! Before you do that, the BEST way to find traps is to stomp down on the floor REALLY HARD. This way, if you trigger anything, you'll get it stuck in place and nothing will activate. Rogue: Really? Monk: Yeah! DM(Later): And you want your new character to be a bard you say? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And my personal favorite... Rogue: I go into the general store. DM: the store is selling a few cheap, normal peasent goods as well as food. Rogue: DO you have any swords? Shopkeep: No. Rogue: Do you have any SHORTswords? Shopkeep: NO. Rogue: Are you sure? Shopkeep: BUy something or leave. Rogue: What about daggers? Necromancer: I enter and ask to buy food for my familiar. Shopkeep: We don't serve your kind here, OUT. Necromancer: All I want is some birdseed! Druid: I enter and hit him with my club. DM: Alright well the old man keels over. Wondering what the ruccus is, the town millitia enters. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DM: [Rogue], the town guard walks up to you. They're holding a wanted poster with your face on it. Rogue: I stab them! DM: You miss. They hit you with their longswords. You are now at... 3 HP. Monk(who has recently joined town guard): What's the difficulty here? Rogue: I run away. Monk: I follow Rogue: I keep running. DM: You're wearing medium armor. ROgue: So? DM: You're running from a MONK. Rogue: So? DM: Right. *takes out 4 D6's and waits* [/QUOTE]
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