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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Old One" data-source="post: 2937862" data-attributes="member: 83">MW -I went through this a little over a decade ago in my early 30s with my first marriage.  I won't sugar-coat it for you...it blows.  Self-doubt, self-recrimination and all the "woulda, shoulda, coulda" is enough to drive a man insane.  One major blessing (although it may not seem like it right now) is no kids.  I hope this doesn't sound too harsh (since it isn't meant to), but you basically have 2 paths to take here:(1) Wallow in self-pity and self-doubt while spiral into a pattern of bad relationships for all the wrong reasons (which I did for about 6 months).OR(2) Really take the opportunity to work on YOU.  I took the opportunity to learn and grow personally.  Developed new friends and interests, got back in shape, changed careers into a field I love (and make far more money in).  It does take time and effort, but it really is an opportunity to affect change in your life.  I did see a counselor for about a year and found that enormously helpful in getting things back on track (or down a new track, as it were).Circling back around to your initial question.  If she says "It's Over"...take her at her word.  Don't spend time and emotional energy throwing yourself against an immovable object.  My experience is that produces nothing but false hopes and even worse eventual heartache.I feel for you, my friend...this isn't easy...and your ENWorld brothers (and sisters) are here for you.Best,~ OO</blockquote>

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