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Message: <blockquote data-quote="merelycompetent" data-source="post: 2890297" data-attributes="member: 33830">Apologies in advance, because I'm probably going to repeat some things others have said. But here's my take on the situation you describe. This is long because I've quoted a couple of your posts so that I can put my analysis and advice next to the relevant sections:Assumption: The 7 people you talk about are 6 players and 1 GM.* You will have to raise the CR of the creatures and/or increase the ELs. CRs are geared for a party of the iconic four. You've got 6. That gives the PCs an advantage.* I'd be cautious about assuming that the one player has an attitude problem. It could be something as simple as poor communication skills.* I'd probably let this one slide, provided it doesn't become a pattern. Later on in your posting(s) you indicate that it does become a pattern. I've had this happen to me multiple times before. So I implemented a table rule: If your character's basics aren't filled out before game start, the DM will fill them out for you. If you don't like the DM's choices, consider them the results of an evil witch's/warlock's curse that you can undo as a quest. This solves the problem in the future, and creates an instant plot hook for later use. If you hand out a copy of your house/table rules for the players before character creation, they can't say they weren't warned. This will also give you a good guage of what kind of players you have - Did they read the DM's handout or not?* He accidentally tore up the backup character? Yep, definite warning sign.* Numbers partially obscured on the character sheet so they're unreadable? Unacceptable. The DM shouldn't have to guess or get eyestrain reading his copy of the character sheet. (You did ask for ~copies~ of the sheets, right? So you have your own backup in case someone forgets theirs, or accidentally tears them up?)* Another warning sign. The best advice I can give is: Immediately start looking for another place to game. The location you are currently at has issues. Best to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation.* Question: Did the player storm off, or say, "Sorry guys. I'm not up for this tonight. Go ahead and play - I'm going to cool off" ?* Are other players (or NPCs, or monsters) in your current game using non-core material?* If the answer above is No, then I think you're being emotionally blackmailed.* If the answer above is Yes, did you approve of that material and let the other players know about it (and add it to your player handout)? If not, he's got a reason to gripe.* What he does in his game has no bearing on what you do in yours. If he wants to DM, invite him to run his own game.* IMO (and solely in my opinion) this was a mistake. You've now demonstrated  that you won't follow your own rules and can be persuaded, blackmailed, played, call-it-what-you-will. A better way to handle it, in my opinion, is to stick to your guns - tell the player that you'll be happy to review his character *tomorrow* so he can play it in the next session. Note: For your group, this sort of thing might work out great - that's your call to make. IME, it creates problems in the long run.* I think you may be confusing respect with simply following rules. Following a rule has little to do with respect - you follow the rules, or the DM changes the rules (like you did when you caved), or you don't play. This player may very well have a great deal of respect for you and your rules - he just doesn't want to follow them, and you've shown him that he doesn't have to.* Your concerns about keeping up with new material from books you don't own are valid. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You can get around this by telling your group that you'll take a look at the optional material if someone will buy you a copy... otherwise, they'll have to wait until you can afford it yourself.* That gives your "problem player" a distinct advantage that he has now used to great effect. Remove yourself and your group from the situation. Have someone else host, or preferrably find a neutral ground (college campus student center, for example). Try to pick one that's more centrally located. Rotate who hosts if you have to, so it's not unfair to any one person. All of these are reasonable and valid changes. If your problem player resists them - even if someone else will provide a carpool - then you may have to take more drastic steps, like recruiting a replacement player.* Problem: You are taking your work too seriously. If this player wanted to insult you, he'd have used much more regrettable language than leaving the gaming table in anger/frustration. Wanting to change characters four sessions in is not spitting on your work. It's inconsiderate of all the effort you've put in as DM, yes. And you should be annoyed, but not outraged or insulted. I only have what you've posted in this thread to go by, so I will only add that you should think very carefully about taking this so personally. How will you take it if the super-cool plot you've got set up for the PC gets crushed because the player spurns the NPC's love or sells the McGuffin at a pawn shop?* An EXCELLENT idea! You may even want to talk with each player individually between games, in person, and ask them what they think of the game - what do they like, dislike, want to see more of, want to see less of, etc. This kind of feedback is invaluable to a DM.I hope this helps. Good luck with your game!</blockquote>

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