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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dykstrav" data-source="post: 5327068" data-attributes="member: 40522">First off, you're doing the right thing by handling it out-of-game. Anyone who is worth playing with can be addressed reasonably and will hear you out and work towards what is best for the game.However, I would caution you to be impartial. The older players may or may not be more overtly hostile to the younger players, but if the younger players are coming to you about their problems with other people instead of directly talking to them... Passive-aggressive behavior is a form of hostility as well. It's just more neurotic and whiny/emotional than the people who are flat-out jerks. They are telling you that they don't believe that they can work things out, or maybe that they shouldn't. Not good signs.I used to play in a Vampire: the Masquerade LARP where hostility was almost mandatory, and I've seen too many games lately devolve into the same territory. It's one of the major factors that has made me become far more selective about who I play with these days.The best advice I have to offer is 1) Remain impartial. Don't take a side until you've heard both sides of the story, separately and with both parties present. Establish up-front that you're a DM, not a counselor or a mediator. Presumably, you're doing this to have fun. Let the parties involved know exactly how far you're willing to work with them and at what point you're going to use the nuclear option. Stick to your guns. Don't let people try to push you around by insulting you or manipulate you with emotional outbursts.2) Don't do anything based on anonymous, generic, or second-hand information. Require specific, first-hand accounts of a perceived offense. "Todd tries to keep all the best magic items for himself and complains when he doesn't get his way," is a legitimate concern. "Todd is a smelly jerk who is ruining the fun for the whole group and you should kick him out," on the other hand, is opinion. Usually, if you make people list specific grievances, they either realize that they're overreacting or you have a basis for a legitimate concern.If people aren't willing to sit down with the offending party and work it out, you can't help them. Furthermore, let them know that you're going to talk to the other person about it, and that you're going to make sure that they know who is accusing them of what.3) Don't take it personally. Realize that player disagreements are not an indication of your skill as a DM--you shouldn't be expected to make players get along in addition to running a great adventure and an ongoing campaign. If you haven't read the <a href="http://www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html" target="_blank">Five Geek Social Fallacies</a>, they are remarkably insightful. GSF #4 seems particularly relevant to keep in mind.Hope this helps, and good luck!</blockquote>

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