When you find out your the incestuous spawn of Iuz and his mother

[Lodow MoBo]

Plaged by nightmares? Balor giving you advice? Able to summon infernal minions when the chips are down. You too may be the son of Iuz. Destined to take his place when he is raised to a greater status.

This is the cool character background which has developed over time for my fighter / mage. hmmm prince of darkness or just another grunt? I think I'll still fight the good fight, even though those dark elf women look good in chainmail bikinis.

Well I must give codos to the DM.

Rough Character concept. = Yea and he has mightmares too for some reason...

Well, what have DM's done to your innocent ideas?

 

[Taluron]

Well, from the other side wood elf women look good in chainmail bikinis too.

 

[Aeolius]

talk about a bad heir day

 

[Piratecat]

This happened to me not once, but twice. I HATE it when that happens. You know, when you sit down to the dinner table with your Mom and she's got one of those... um,...

 

[AuraSeer]

Your Mom wears a chainmail bikini at the dinner table?

 

[Ulrick]

talk about a bad heir day

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA


jeez...

 

[Piratecat]

Your Mom wears a chainmail bikini at the dinner table?

No, giant spiders! She's got one of those giant spiders, and then she takes one of those... ermmmm....

 

[Nightfall]

No offense PC, but I'm SO not meeting your mom.

 

[Thresher]

I think in moral dilemmas like this, its time to summon the bard, have a good old fashioned sing-along and try to forget it ever happened.

I'm wet and I'm moist
So come on let's rejoice
In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts
And the fact that we are all young adults (hi baby, how are you?)
And lie back on your couch
After this there'll be no doubt
I don't care if you're a Miss or a Missus
You done been squelched by the world's best kisses
Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
I'll suck your face until I pull your molars out
A tongue so grand you'll call me more than friend
One kiss from this and you'll never brush your teeth again
(and you know it's true, mate)
Well go back to your husband now
Tell him you done broke your vow
Stand proud and say "Hey Mister,
I've just been kissed by the world's best kisser"
Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
I'll suck your face until I pull your wisdoms out
A tongue so long it really grows and grows
Put it in your mouth and it'll clean out your nose
I've only kissed one girl before
My Grandma on the kitchen floor
She dribbled and grinned and said "Hey Kid,
You taught me things your Grandpa never did"
She added there'd be hell to pay
If Ma found out we'd gone astray
So hurry Paul, go and get some sleep
You finally got a skill to teach the sheep
Hey, hey, calm down and pucker up
These lips are strong enough to stop a truck
A tongue so long, it really packs a punch
One kiss from this
And I'll know what you had for lunch
One kiss from this
And I'll know what you had for lunch
Yesterday

Then, we throw the bard into the pit with the trolls and get him to show us how the monsters work.
Thresher Inc, dragging threads down to new lows

 

[Byrons_Ghost]

No, giant spiders! She's got one of those giant spiders, and then she takes one of those... ermmmm....

Old SNL tapes with Billy Crystal?