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<blockquote data-quote="Buttercup" data-source="post: 314460" data-attributes="member: 990">I've been reading this thread, but haven't replied because I'm not sure what to say.&nbsp; I think that it makes a relationship more healthy if each person has some independent interests.&nbsp; I also think that a relationship will not last if there is no compromise with good grace.&nbsp; Let's speak hypothetically here.&nbsp; If my husband played the tuba (he doesn't!) and I hated it, but it was very important to him, we would have to find a way to work this out.&nbsp; Maybe he would only practice when I wasn't home, or maybe he would go in the basement to play.&nbsp; But whatever we came up with, my part of the bargain would be to accept his hobby with good grace after that, not to keep grousing at him.&nbsp; It isn't compromise if one person always gets their way, nor is it compromise if one person gets to complain afterward.&nbsp; I think that sounds pretty harsh, but frankly, I think your wife is being unreasonable.You live in a conservative community, but I think she worries too much about what other people think.&nbsp; I know more than a bit about Fort Wayne, as it happens.&nbsp; If you were an interracial couple, many people would despise you.&nbsp; If you were Jewish, many would hate you.&nbsp; So would you try to keep those things secret?&nbsp; I trust not.&nbsp; You would say, 'screw your biggoted attitudes' and expect people to behave as decent, civil adults.&nbsp; It isn't the business of your wife's coworkers what you do in your spare time.&nbsp; It has nothing to do with her professional performance.&nbsp; Having said that, my staff doesn't know about my hobby, either.&nbsp; But that isn't because I'm ashamed of it, it's because I limit the amount of personal information I share with subordinates.&nbsp; Two of the people who play in my game work for the same organization I do, but in different departments.The bottom line, Ghostwind, is that I really can't help you.&nbsp; It sounds to me like her issue with gaming is really masking a larger issue, and I'm very sorry if that's true.&nbsp; Since you say that divorce isn't an option, perhaps you should consider marriage counseling.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Buttercup, post: 314460, member: 990"] I've been reading this thread, but haven't replied because I'm not sure what to say. I think that it makes a relationship more healthy if each person has some independent interests. I also think that a relationship will not last if there is no compromise with good grace. Let's speak hypothetically here. If my husband played the tuba (he doesn't!) and I hated it, but it was very important to him, we would have to find a way to work this out. Maybe he would only practice when I wasn't home, or maybe he would go in the basement to play. But whatever we came up with, my part of the bargain would be to accept his hobby with good grace after that, not to keep grousing at him. It isn't compromise if one person always gets their way, nor is it compromise if one person gets to complain afterward. I think that sounds pretty harsh, but frankly, I think your wife is being unreasonable. You live in a conservative community, but I think she worries too much about what other people think. I know more than a bit about Fort Wayne, as it happens. If you were an interracial couple, many people would despise you. If you were Jewish, many would hate you. So would you try to keep those things secret? I trust not. You would say, 'screw your biggoted attitudes' and expect people to behave as decent, civil adults. It isn't the business of your wife's coworkers what you do in your spare time. It has nothing to do with her professional performance. Having said that, my staff doesn't know about my hobby, either. But that isn't because I'm ashamed of it, it's because I limit the amount of personal information I share with subordinates. Two of the people who play in my game work for the same organization I do, but in different departments. The bottom line, Ghostwind, is that I really can't help you. It sounds to me like her issue with gaming is really masking a larger issue, and I'm very sorry if that's true. Since you say that divorce isn't an option, perhaps you should consider marriage counseling. [/QUOTE]

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