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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Klaus" data-source="post: 2605742" data-attributes="member: 607">Just watched it on cable for the first time.And I hate it.Why? Where to begin?Richard Roxbourgh as Vladislav Draguilia (Dracula) was terrible. I've never seen him in a performance I liked. He wasn't menacing in Moulin Rouge, he wasn't Machiavellian in LXG and he sure as hell doesn't convey "Dracula" to me. No authority, no intimidation, no nothing. And that hair (and its 80's hair clip) were atrocious.The werewolves. The transformation itself had no coherence. Sometimes they ripped the skin, sometimes the fur grew traditionally. Once they turned into werewolves, ripping skin and clothes, they shouldn't be clothed when turning back. Yet they are.The vampire offspring. "So this is what happens when vampires mate... They have Gremlins". Ugh. Just sire an entire village, Vlad.The Frankenstein Monster. Those computer LEDs were terrible. The actor was terrible. I'd rather have the monster from The Young Frankenstein ("Frankonsteen!!!!").The monk. "I'm not a monk, I'm a friar". So? You're still clergy, dude. That line makes no sense at all!The monk and the monster riding inside a burning carriage and no sign of flames until the werewolf rips the top open? And what, the werewolf's claws are filled with gasoline or something? Not to mention the flying horses...The CGI vs. CGI battle in the end.The constant Tarzan impressions. "What do we do?" "I know! Let's swing from a rope!"In the opening scene, the villagers go through a forest to reach the castle, and from there they chase the monster into a windmill. But once Van Helsing get to the same village, the castle is right ACROSS THE STREET!!!!The villagers all go nuts when Van Helsing kills a vampire, but they had no qualms in working with Anna, even though HER FAMILY KILLS VAMPIRES FOR 400 YEARS???So Van Helsing is the top operative for the Vatican? Why? Jekill/Hyde dies from an accident, he misses, like, 586.980 crossbow shots, he manages to get infected by the werewolf he manages to kill... Some sign of competence here, please?The vampiresses attack during the day. They only hide when the sun breaks through a very thin layer of clouds. Were they dark gray stormclouds that dimmed the lighting of the scene, I could buy it. But the scene was clear as day!Deus Ex Machina. The "sunlight bomb" (created by absolute accident), the "werewolf can kill dracula", the "Frankenstein monster smashing through window and hits vampire bride", "Van Helsing gets werewolf powers before turning into a werewolf, so they can enter the castle"...There were two towers on Castle Dracula, one with the contraption, one with the cure. Anna is trapped waaay up there with the last vampire bride. The F-Monster swings around helping the monk, and it clearly shows that he's far below the towers. Yet he smashes through the tower window 1,000 feet above him???Full Moon??? When VH and the monk arrive, Anna's brother (as a werewolf) attacks. It is clearly a full moon. When they take Frankenstein's Monster to Budapest, it is clearly a full moon. So why the heck does the monk tell VH that his first full moon will be in TWO DAYS???Anna's father was called King of the Gipsies, yet he lived in the largest mansion in town? Gipsies! Wandering around in wagons! Fortune-tellers! Not "Houses of the Rich and Famous"!The only enjoyable parts about this movie were Kate Beckinsale (even though her lines blew) and Josie Maran (even though she was the first bride to go).I could've slept, but instead I stayed awake to watch this movie. I should've gone to bed...</blockquote>

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