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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 5955673" data-attributes="member: 177">Who said anyone was assuming &quot;every non-gamer&quot; did anything?&nbsp; I don't know about you, but I am presuming that the folks who don't talk about it at work are doing so based off an assessment of the tolerances of their coworkers, with some thought as to the risk vs the benefit involved.&nbsp; I was kind of approaching this from the, &quot;we probably shouldn't tell others what do to, 'cause they know their business better than we&quot; angle.I agree that hiding it by actively lying to your spouse and family suggests there's something unfortunate in those relationships.&nbsp; You don't get to pick your family, so maybe that's not fully in your control.&nbsp; Of your father or aunt is a bit extreme on the subject, you can't help that, and maybe avoidance is a viable alternative to confrontation.&nbsp; But your spouse?&nbsp; Unless you're in an arranged marriage, you chose your spouse.&nbsp; If you can't tell your spouse, there is something wrong.But I still say it isn't necessarily shame.&nbsp; But I figure I clarified my definitions on that upthread, so I shan't repeat myself.My reductio ad absurdum counter:For the past three years, I've been putting my charity efforts to supporting breast cancer research.&nbsp; I've had several friends choose to not donate when given the opportunity.The logic you seem to be presenting, applied to my (admittedly more extreme) case, would have me tell them, &quot;Well, if you don't donate, and your Mom dies of breast cancer, I don't want to hear you whine about it.&quot;&nbsp; I don't buy that as an angle.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 5955673, member: 177"] Who said anyone was assuming "every non-gamer" did anything? I don't know about you, but I am presuming that the folks who don't talk about it at work are doing so based off an assessment of the tolerances of their coworkers, with some thought as to the risk vs the benefit involved. I was kind of approaching this from the, "we probably shouldn't tell others what do to, 'cause they know their business better than we" angle. I agree that hiding it by actively lying to your spouse and family suggests there's something unfortunate in those relationships. You don't get to pick your family, so maybe that's not fully in your control. Of your father or aunt is a bit extreme on the subject, you can't help that, and maybe avoidance is a viable alternative to confrontation. But your spouse? Unless you're in an arranged marriage, you chose your spouse. If you can't tell your spouse, there is something wrong. But I still say it isn't necessarily shame. But I figure I clarified my definitions on that upthread, so I shan't repeat myself. My [I]reductio ad absurdum[/I] counter: For the past three years, I've been putting my charity efforts to supporting breast cancer research. I've had several friends choose to not donate when given the opportunity. The logic you seem to be presenting, applied to my (admittedly more extreme) case, would have me tell them, "Well, if you don't donate, and your Mom dies of breast cancer, I don't want to hear you whine about it." I don't buy that as an angle. [/QUOTE]

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