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Why are wizard's so weak? (A parody)
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<blockquote data-quote="Asisreo" data-source="post: 7990739" data-attributes="member: 7019027"><p>Has anyone noticed how weak wizards are in D&D? It's ridiculous that <em>Wizards</em> of the Coast refuse to make their spellcasters good. </p><p></p><p>For one, their HitDice are so small, it's possible to die from two hits from a goblin at level 1! Or even one hit if they crit! </p><p></p><p>They don't incentivize constitution as much as intelligence and dexterity yet it's important for concentration and just living, so basically you need 3 ability scores in order to even be a decent spellcaster without getting turned into a pin cushion.</p><p></p><p>Their only defensive options are gatekept behind either a spell or a couple subclasses. </p><p></p><p>Speaking about class features, both the class and subclass features are so bad. Arcane recovery would be decent if the party ever took a short rest, otherwise it's non-existent. And you don't get another real class feature until level 18! What's up with that!? </p><p></p><p>The subclass features all kinda just fall flat from useful. First off, they all get this dumb copy spell discount as if copying a spell in combat is viable. </p><p></p><p>The evocation wizard, for instance, gets sculpt spell which sounds pretty nice but at this level you're only shooting out burning hands and thunderwaves. Not to mention that you can't even use them on magic missile! Unless you're constantly expending resources on evocation spells like a madman, which you only get 3 slots for the entire long rest, this feature is pretty bad for a long time. Fireball eventually comes up but only when campaigns are just about to end anyways. </p><p></p><p>Your spellslot acquisition sucks too. You're expected to be a professional at shooting spells yet after two or three rounds of looking cool, you're stuck playing second fiddle to the fighters, barbarians, and rogues. They get all their cool stuff at will. You can contribute meaningfully for 3-4 rounds before throwing subpar cantrips. </p><p></p><p>Did I mention that if you're a wizard and you're <em>ever</em> caught in melee, you're screwed? Because you are. You'd think you could just misty step away but as soon as you do, they'll just dash the 60ft to be back in melee and curbstomp you anyways. And since a wizard doesn't really have high AC even with their spells, they're getting creamed. Shield and mage armor is already 2 spell slots out of a probable 3-4 and the shield only lasts for a round. Plus, if they have multiattack or there's more than one, it's basically curtains for you. </p><p></p><p>It also doesn't fulfill the flavor of being born as a master of magic like in Harry Potter. Sure, he studies sometimes, but you can't just be a wizard because you study, you have to be born with it. </p><p></p><p>A wizard is supposed to get the most benefit from magic items, but the only ones worth getting don't improve your most important attack method (save DC) like a fighter and don't increase the damage like a fighter. In fact, even the +1 wands don't increase the damage of your spell attack damage. So they're basically useless unless you're stuck using the cantrips that aren't as good as a martial, at all. </p><p></p><p>A warlock has better damaging cantrips. How is that even fair? They get to add their ability mod to the damage and they have better distance and can push people? And they get to be a spellcaster with only a <em>short rest</em> resource. And the designers thought that was "balanced."</p><p></p><p>The wizard is even weak to <em>other wizards!</em> they can't counter a spell until level 5 and their counterspell can just be counterspelled and they eat a fireball anyways. </p><p></p><p>I can't tell you how many times the party had to watch me die as a group of goblins or orcs just swarmed at me and killed me before I even got to react. The DM just piles monsters on me and after 2-3 rounds, I'm either unconscious or completely dead. I can't escape, either. They surprise me or just plain shoot me until I die. </p><p></p><p>If anyone else feels like Wizards are weak and/or have any houserules to fix these problems to make the wizard playable, please list them below. I feel like wizards need to finally be playable like they were in 4e</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Asisreo, post: 7990739, member: 7019027"] Has anyone noticed how weak wizards are in D&D? It's ridiculous that [I]Wizards[/I] of the Coast refuse to make their spellcasters good. For one, their HitDice are so small, it's possible to die from two hits from a goblin at level 1! Or even one hit if they crit! They don't incentivize constitution as much as intelligence and dexterity yet it's important for concentration and just living, so basically you need 3 ability scores in order to even be a decent spellcaster without getting turned into a pin cushion. Their only defensive options are gatekept behind either a spell or a couple subclasses. Speaking about class features, both the class and subclass features are so bad. Arcane recovery would be decent if the party ever took a short rest, otherwise it's non-existent. And you don't get another real class feature until level 18! What's up with that!? The subclass features all kinda just fall flat from useful. First off, they all get this dumb copy spell discount as if copying a spell in combat is viable. The evocation wizard, for instance, gets sculpt spell which sounds pretty nice but at this level you're only shooting out burning hands and thunderwaves. Not to mention that you can't even use them on magic missile! Unless you're constantly expending resources on evocation spells like a madman, which you only get 3 slots for the entire long rest, this feature is pretty bad for a long time. Fireball eventually comes up but only when campaigns are just about to end anyways. Your spellslot acquisition sucks too. You're expected to be a professional at shooting spells yet after two or three rounds of looking cool, you're stuck playing second fiddle to the fighters, barbarians, and rogues. They get all their cool stuff at will. You can contribute meaningfully for 3-4 rounds before throwing subpar cantrips. Did I mention that if you're a wizard and you're [I]ever[/I] caught in melee, you're screwed? Because you are. You'd think you could just misty step away but as soon as you do, they'll just dash the 60ft to be back in melee and curbstomp you anyways. And since a wizard doesn't really have high AC even with their spells, they're getting creamed. Shield and mage armor is already 2 spell slots out of a probable 3-4 and the shield only lasts for a round. Plus, if they have multiattack or there's more than one, it's basically curtains for you. It also doesn't fulfill the flavor of being born as a master of magic like in Harry Potter. Sure, he studies sometimes, but you can't just be a wizard because you study, you have to be born with it. A wizard is supposed to get the most benefit from magic items, but the only ones worth getting don't improve your most important attack method (save DC) like a fighter and don't increase the damage like a fighter. In fact, even the +1 wands don't increase the damage of your spell attack damage. So they're basically useless unless you're stuck using the cantrips that aren't as good as a martial, at all. A warlock has better damaging cantrips. How is that even fair? They get to add their ability mod to the damage and they have better distance and can push people? And they get to be a spellcaster with only a [I]short rest[/I] resource. And the designers thought that was "balanced." The wizard is even weak to [I]other wizards![/I] they can't counter a spell until level 5 and their counterspell can just be counterspelled and they eat a fireball anyways. I can't tell you how many times the party had to watch me die as a group of goblins or orcs just swarmed at me and killed me before I even got to react. The DM just piles monsters on me and after 2-3 rounds, I'm either unconscious or completely dead. I can't escape, either. They surprise me or just plain shoot me until I die. If anyone else feels like Wizards are weak and/or have any houserules to fix these problems to make the wizard playable, please list them below. I feel like wizards need to finally be playable like they were in 4e [/QUOTE]
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