NOW LIVE! Today's the day you meet your new best friend. You don’t have to leave Wolfy behind... In 'Pets & Sidekicks' your companions level up with you!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ulrick" data-source="post: 4724098" data-attributes="member: 775">The PCs all have rolled up their characters and have sat down to play. The DM opens the Ultimate Toolbox.DM: Okay, is everybody ready? Excellent. All your characters are *roll* "bound by a charter or contract" and your patron is *roll* a "stuttering lady-in-waiting" who has offer you a unique reward, *roll* "an ancient or forgotten song."Fighter: What's the stuttering lady-in-waiting's name?DM: Umm... *roll* "Pentalis Boneburner" PCs: WHAT?!? DM: Oops, I rolled on the wrong table... Cleric: Where are we? DM: In *roll* the town of "Northspire"Rogue: What's in this town?DM: Um... *roll**roll**roll* The town "old and is need of repair. Walls crumble, no civic pride is evident, brick work lacks mortar," and there's a "simple large tower housing students from nearby colleges" and a "terminating vista."Fighter: I attack the terminating vista. Other PCs: What?!? Fighter: It sounded threatening. Like a gazebo. DM: So you're all at the terminating vista? PCs: Sure...Cleric: What's here? DM: *roll* There's "Ricsek" a "minstrel composing while intoxicated."Thief: He's drunk? I pick his pocket. *roll*  I succeed! What do I find?DM: *roll* HA! HA! A natural 20!Thief: Is that good?DM: You find a "fork." General laughterFighter: Is there a tavern or inn nearby? If so, I go there. DM: I'll say 3 in 6 there is. *roll* Yes, and its called *roll* HA! Another natural 20!"Fighter: Oh no...DM: It's called "Magog. A dank, horrid tavern caterting to antisocial mitfits and the like." Fighter: What's a "mitfit?"Cleric: I think he mean "misfits."DM: Well, its either a typo or a new kind of monster. Fighter: Eitherway I go Inn. Get it?  Inn? Har har.  Thief: I backstab the fighter with my fork. *roll* Damn. Natural "1"DM: Your fork breaks against the fighter's armor. And its not an Inn, its a tavern. Cleric: You never told us our patron's name.DM: "Pentalis Boneburner."Fighter: I go into the tavern.Thief: Same here. Cleric: No. You said "Oops, I rolled on the wrong table" or something. DM: Ok...um. It's "Pentalis Boneburner." Cleric: But that sounds like a villain's or a hooker's name. DM: Well...let me see, "Pentalis" is actually a wizard and "lady in waiting." Cleric: So, our patron is a "Stuttering lady-in-waiting" wizard named "Pentalis Boneburner." DM: Yep. Fighter and Thief: Cleric, will you hurry up? We're gonna get drunk! Cleric: What does she do? Did she tell us any plans. DM: *roll* "Genocide." uh... I mean... Cleric: Genocide!?!The DM quickly flips to another chart, cursing himself for revealing the villain's hidden agenda. *roll* She wants you to "explore the tunnels unearthed by a previously hidden door." Cleric: And commit genocide!Fighter and Thief: Are we drunk yet! DM: No. Fighter and Thief: Oh come'on! You didn't even roll!Thief: I wanna found out the local gossip before I get drunk anyway. DM: *roll* You find out that this town gets "flooded every spring." Thief: From who?DM: *roll* From the "Human tax-collector (and bodyguards)" who "sits in the corner counting the tithes."Thief: Why the hell would I talk to a tax-collector?DM: Well, let's figure out your motivation. *roll* You "want to start a nation." Cleric: At least its not genocide. Thief: What would I want to start a nation?DM: Well, your other motivation is... *roll* a need to "entertain."Fighter: I am drunk yet?DM: No. Fighter: Oh, come'on. You didn't even roll. I'll even buy the finest grog for El Presidente Thief here...-----I came up with all that just using the free downloads. I'm sold. I'm getting Ultimate Toolbox ASAP.Edit: just to break the narrative up a bit for legibility.</blockquote>

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