Why does the stigma of the "jerk GM" still persist in our hobby?

[Maxperson]

Well, I disagree. Bad DMing doesn't become good DMing just because it happens due to lack of experience. It's still bad DMing. Thing is, it's not a fatal flaw, nor is it even really a bad thing. Just something we all go through on the path to becoming a better DM.

I didn't say it becomes good DMing. Nor did I say it wasn't a bad instance of that DMs DMing. It just doesn't make that DM a bad DM to make a mistake or have poor judgment while learning.

Once you fix your mistakes and learn what you did wrong, then you become a good DM.

A decent one at least. It takes more than not making blunders to be a good DM. It's as hard and rare to find a good DM as it is to find a bad one. They exist in about equal numbers.

But, you (not you [MENTION=23751]Maxperson[/MENTION], the generic you, which is what I meant this whole post) learned from your mistakes and got better.

Hey!! Why not me?!

 

[Aldarc]

Also note - bad behavior often creeps up over time. Player may not recognize how problematic the behavior is, as it began small, and got larger over time. Like easing into cold water, each step is not so shocking, and you grow accustomed to it...

Or that whole (horrific) idea of the boiling frog.

 

[Hussar]

Speaking as someone who put up with a truly toxic DM for a couple of years because I thought he was my friend and you make allowances for friends right? Yeah, it's shocking the garbage people will put up with in the name of not rocking the boat.

Chock it up to a learning experience.

 

[Sadras]

Speaking as someone who put up with a truly toxic DM for a couple of years because I thought he was my friend and you make allowances for friends right? Yeah, it's shocking the garbage people will put up with in the name of not rocking the boat.

Chock it up to a learning experience.

Hussar that certainly does explain your position better and why you have been so passionate regarding some conversations about DMs. I cannot say I have shared your experience to describe anything on the level as toxic, nevermind the friend aspect.

I've played with some poor/bad DMs, like you said we all were once, but a jerk DM, never.

 

[jasper]

Hello I am Jasper I HAVE BEEN A JERK DM! Will I be a Jerk DM tonight? Maybe. I will try not to be a jerk dm but......
1. Have you talked NICELY to me about things that tick you off? Is keeping a kill sheet being a jerk or just warning the table I let the dice decide hits and misses.
2. What you say you had a bad week and want to take it out on the monsters and rest of the players? How about a head's up.
3. Are you trying as a group to tick me off?
4. Does my voice just grates up and down your spine? Or switch that around.
5. Does this module suck? If so I try to fix it but.....
6. Is the background noise getting on all our nerves and I can't HEAR YOU!
etc.

 

[Imaro]

Hussar that certainly does explain your position better and why you have been so passionate regarding some conversations about DMs. I cannot say I have shared your experience to describe anything on the level as toxic, nevermind the friend aspect.

I've played with some poor/bad DMs, like you said we all were once, but a jerk DM, never.

This pretty much describes my experiences overall. And I'd even go so far as to say that some of those "bad" or "poor" DM's I played with were just DM's whose playstyle didn't fit what I was looking for (which IMO doesn't make them bad DM's, especially if the other players are having a good time... just not the DM for me). That said I'll readily admit until recently I've played under and run for members of a pretty consistent group, who were pretty familiar with what we were each looking for in gaming.

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

If I wasn't a jerk DM my players would replace me with one who was.