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Message: <blockquote data-quote="delericho" data-source="post: 5441887" data-attributes="member: 22424">It is sad but true that few of us develop new friendships beyond our mid-twenties or so. The school and university experience pushes us together and provides a common experience that can be the basis of a friendship; beyond those years, the impetus just isn't the same.Still, it can be done.To help with finding and/or building a new group, I recommend the following:1) Be pleasant to be around. Your childhood friends probably learned to take you as you are, but the truth is that if you are in this position then you're not around them any more. Strangers have no obligation to take you as you are. If you aren't someone they want to spend time with, you'll either not be invited back, or you'll find that they don't come back.So, avoid 'hot' topics like politics or religion (or, in Glasgow, football... which is basically the same thing). Don't make with the racist or sexist comments. Show up when and where you say you will (and be aware that being early can be as much of an issue as being late!). If you haven't done so already today, go have a shower, brsuh your teeth, shave (if appropriate), and put on clean clothes.As time goes on, you may find that some of these can be relaxed. At the outset, though, don't assume.2) Use all avenues of exploration. If you're wondering whether to use a "Gamers Seeking Gamers" site, or Meetup, or the FLGS, or some other method for finding players, the answer is yes. Use all of them.It may well be that playing in the FLGS, or in LFR, or similar is really not your cup of tea, but consider this: many people who play there are likely also to play games at home, or in other clubs or venues. Likewise, if you get yourself known at the FLGS, the owner is more likely to pass on your name the next time a customer mentions that they're looking for new players. (And, yeah, you're probably going to have to buy stuff from the FLGS.)3) Get rid of those prejudices. Okay, so you hate 4e (or Pathfinder, whatever). But if the only game in town is 4e, then suck it up and play. (And don't spend the session moaning about the game system either - see #1.)Again, many people play more than one game, and even more might be willing to at least try other systems. So, play their game for now, become known in the group... and later suggest that maybe you could run Pathfinder/WFRP/SWSE/WoD when the current campaign winds down. (And be prepared for them still saying no!)4) Be prepared to do the legwork, at least for now. There may well not be a group in town. In which case, you'll need to go to the trouble of putting one together. You may well have to be prepared to teach the game to newbies. And you may well have to be the one to act as GM along the way. Suck it up.Here's the thing: of those of us who are good DMs, approximately 0% of us were good DMs the first time we picked up the dice. We struggled, we made mistakes, and eventually we muddled through. But we got there - so can you.(The best advice comes from Doctor Who: "Try and be all nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky. Because you're going to be like that anyway. Might as well make it part of the plan and then it'll feel on purpose.")Oh, and if you're worried about the cost, you probably shouldn't be. The vast majority of games require only a single book to run (and have lots of free support available online). Even D&D/Pathfinder only require a small number of books to run. (And there are very few games out there that require even one book in order to play.)5) About Acceptance: As I said in #1, strangers are not obliged to take you as you are, and it cuts both way. If there's someone in your new group that you don't like, you are free to uninvite that person (for absolutely any reason... or indeed for no reason at all). Be aware, however, that each time you do this, you reduce your pool of potential players by at least one, and quite possibly more. Do it too often, and you'll find yourself with nobody around the table.Some Notes About MeetupI can second the recommendation for using Meetup.com. I found it very useful. Indeed, I am the Organiser of the <a href="http://www.meetup.com/Falkirk-RPG-Meetup" target="_blank">Falkirk RPG Meetup</a>, a group that has been going for a bit over a year, and which has grown from only a couple of people to the upper-twenties. Over that time, we've made contact with two other local gaming groups, and so are fairly vibrant.When using Meetup, I recommend the following:1) Schedule a Meetup right away. From what I've seen of other similar meetups, a lot of them get set up, and then sit there with nothing happening. If a Meetup looks like nothing is happening, then nobody will bother joining. On the other hand, if there are events occurring, then people are more likely to jump in.(Similarly, once the group has been going for a while, you should probably schedule a second, and further meet'n'greet event, to let new people jump in. Sure, you may be happy to find four other people to game with, but eventually one of them will leave, and you'll want someone else to take his place.)2) Schedule your initial meeting, and any further meet'n'greets in public places. Your first meeting with a group of strangers should never take place in someone's home.3) Be prepared to start small. At our first meetup, there were a grand total of three people present. It happens. The best thing to do is to get started anyway. Play a game that only requires a couple of players. Have the players run multiple characters. Consider the use of gestalt characters. But whatever you do, don't decide to wait for more people to join the group. Get it up and going, and they will come.</blockquote>

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