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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Troll Wizard" data-source="post: 2552727" data-attributes="member: 17513">I believe I see the difference; you and a few other DMs and players here; you socialize with your friends via playing Dungeons and Dragons.  Its important(?) for your DM that all the players remain at the same level, regardless of attendance, role-playing effort or any other reasons.  You don't want any of your friends feeling their player-characters might be weak compared to another who hangs out with the group more often.  You folks come together to socialize and play D&D or D&D is just the excuse to socialize?I can see that and to a point that happens with all groups.  Yet I believe that most (IMO) gamers come together to "play" Dungeons & Dragons.  In our games we tend to take the development/growth of PCs more seriously (IMV).I play in two groups, my current long-term group (mid 30s-45+ old folks) of seven years meets every Saturday, and we do tend to socialize too much, which does frustrate some of the players who want to play their character, see it advance, fight, role-play, find loot, etc... The rule with all the DMs (almost all have been playing for 25+ years) is no show = no xp.  Not one person has ever complained as this being unfair.  Despite no show = no xp, PC deaths, item creation xp loss, xp cost spells, etc.. the party remains within two levels of each.  No one runs another player's PC, in the high level and epic campaigns with all the spells/abilities the character have; it would be impossible to run them effectively.The second group which I just started earlier this year meets one-two times of month (also 30-40 olds) came together to "play" D&D.  Conversation outside the game focus is usually stopped by some of the players quicky, because the majority of us have children and/or a SO that worries, we can't play late and thus time is a premium for us.  "Playing" D&D is the primary goal with this group, which is fine with me.  One player did complain about the rule "no show = no xp", so a compromised was reached where you get someone to run your character and earns 1/2 xp for that PC.  I could tell that not everyone was happy with this, some players don't like others controling their PCs and potentially putting them in harm's way.  It's worked so far, though I worry about the day that someone gets a non-attending player's PC killed....I guess I don't see the value in giving xp away for free.  For me "playing D&D - running my character" is the value, the purpose of getting together.  We can always socialize at other times, when we go see movies together, dine out together, etc.  I value the time with my PC, I want to control his destiny, I want see his successes and be the one responsible for his failures and death.  He is my little paper man, missing some xp because I have to take my kids or wife somewhere is not even a concern for me.In summary, it seems I see two or potentially three different playing styles for D&D groups.<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">People that play D&D to socialize (getting together to socialize with friends is more important, D&D is secondary or just the means to socialize and have fun)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">People that socialize to play D&D (getting together to run their PCs in life and death situations, gain xp and loot is the primary goal, socialize only because of the nature of the game)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">People that come together to socialize and play D&D (getting together to run thier PCs in life and death situations, gain xp and loot and socialize to varying degrees - sometimes they bcome like group 1 and sometimes they move over to group 2.)</li> </ol>I hope this made sense.</blockquote>

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