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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 5851656" data-attributes="member: 177">Not that amnesia as depicted on TV happens much at all in the real world...For the one current TV example of this I know, the reason is simple - the marriage is, in fact, a fake.&nbsp; Presumably, even without memory, the character can feel this.In general, &quot;tactically&quot; does not apply here.&nbsp; Tactics are what you get when someone is thinking 100% rationally, which a confused amnesiac isn't.There is also the thought that, for the amnesiac, living with a spouse would probably quite awkward and stressful.&nbsp; They have a completely different view of the relationship than you do.&nbsp; They have expectations you don't.&nbsp; They may love you, and without the memories you don't necessarily feel that way about them.There is (what I find to be) a truism about successful romantic&nbsp; relationships, and marriage especially - they cannot be based on the expectation of change.&nbsp; Your partner comes, &quot;as is&quot;, and, &quot;I'll marry you now, with the understanding that next year you'll be someone you aren't now,&quot; is a recipe for disaster.&nbsp; And, for the amnesiac, both people are surely entering into the relationship with that expectation.&nbsp; The only one who has an idea of what the change might really be isn't even the one changing!Yes, they love you, and they want to support you.&nbsp; But you have to be *you* before you can be a solid part of a relationship.&nbsp; Your analogy fails because the amnesiac isn't &quot;lost&quot;.&nbsp; He or she just *isn't*.&nbsp; The spouse is not &quot;looking for&quot; the amnesiac.&nbsp; The spouse thinks they know where to go, and is trying to lead the amnesiac there.Thus, we get to the part of the story where we discuss how much or little we actually know each other.&nbsp; Can you lead an amnesiac back to themselves, or only to your characterization of them?&nbsp; And, is that leading process actually going to get the amnesiac to the point you expect them to reach?&nbsp; Because the process of the spouse leading is *nothing* like the process the amnesiac took to being that person in the first place.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 5851656, member: 177"] Not that amnesia as depicted on TV happens much at all in the real world... For the one current TV example of this I know, the reason is simple - the marriage is, in fact, a fake. Presumably, even without memory, the character can feel this. In general, "tactically" does not apply here. Tactics are what you get when someone is thinking 100% rationally, which a confused amnesiac isn't. There is also the thought that, for the amnesiac, living with a spouse would probably quite awkward and stressful. They have a completely different view of the relationship than you do. They have expectations you don't. They may love you, and without the memories you don't necessarily feel that way about them. There is (what I find to be) a truism about successful romantic relationships, and marriage especially - they cannot be based on the expectation of change. Your partner comes, "as is", and, "I'll marry you now, with the understanding that next year you'll be someone you aren't now," is a recipe for disaster. And, for the amnesiac, both people are surely entering into the relationship with that expectation. The only one who has an idea of what the change might really be isn't even the one changing! Yes, they love you, and they want to support you. But you have to be *you* before you can be a solid part of a relationship. Your analogy fails because the amnesiac isn't "lost". He or she just *isn't*. The spouse is not "looking for" the amnesiac. The spouse thinks they know where to go, and is trying to lead the amnesiac there. Thus, we get to the part of the story where we discuss how much or little we actually know each other. Can you lead an amnesiac back to themselves, or only to your characterization of them? And, is that leading process actually going to get the amnesiac to the point you expect them to reach? Because the process of the spouse leading is *nothing* like the process the amnesiac took to being that person in the first place. [/QUOTE]

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