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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Roudi" data-source="post: 2720379" data-attributes="member: 12423">See, now, dragons seem important to us, mainly because we're pretty often reminded of our brief mortality when face-to-face with these deadly beings.  The honest truth is, if a man were a god, then a dragon would be a chicken (and a house would be a plane and a squirrel would be a tarrasque, but that's just a bit of fun; I'm sure you get my point).Once upon a time, when the gods looked over the land and found it mostly empty, they rumbled and shouted and angered.  For they were hungry, and the land, being empty, offered very little to eat.  As they rumbled and shouted and angered, they scared a wee little dragon (that would have been the size of a mountain, but was surely a quite wee thing to such a person as a god) out of a hole.  Seizing upon this animal, they slew it and gorged upon it and found it disgusting and got salmonella.  Upon curing themselves, they caught another dragon and slew it and this time cooked it with a bit of rice and vegetables and peanut sauce and some spices; and thus did the gods create thai cuisine.Finding that they were still very hungry, and that catching these dragons made them more hungry, the gods decided to invent farming and start a dragon ranch.  So they did, and they named a type of sauce and salad dressing after the dragon ranch, which incidentally is called "ranch".  Anyways the ranch was a whopping success, and the gods feasted mightily for several days.  However, suddenly the dragons started dying on their own, and the gods couldn't figure out why until they realized that dragons need to eat too.  So, never ones to do anything the boring way, the gods decided to make dragon food that could run around and build villages and invent devices and write boring literature.  So they made some meat and gave it arms and legs and a head and then said "let's make different flavours".  So you had short, stocky flavour that was very meaty but liked to hide in rocks; you had another flavour that was very lean and thin and was great for the dragons because it liked to hang out near vegetables; and then there was the leftover stuff that the gods just said "oh sod it" to and used for filler.  These leftovers were, of course, humans.Now the dragons were very crowded on the ranch, and now that they weren't starving to death they started getting into fights with each other.  The gods didn't much like this at first, but one fateful meal changed that all around.  One night two gods were arguing over which dragon was the biggest and, therefore, the best one to eat.  A third bloke on the outside said "think about it logically... the biggest dragon could beat any other dragon, right?  Well, just let the two fight each other and the biggest one will naturally win!"  All the other gods thought it was a great idea and cleared some room on the table.  They tossed one human between the two dragons and watched as the beasts tore each other up to get it.  The stronger dragon won, and was promptly bashed over the head and baked into a lovely quiche.A taste for watching dragons fight soon spread through the gods as quickly as dragonmeat satsified their hunger.  It wasn't long until three official dragon fight leagues popped up and began selling tickets to their events.  Sideline bets on dragon fights became the highest-stakes gamble in the multiverse, surpassing tarrasque rodeo and speedwalking.  The dragons themselves went from food source to celebrity, some of them earning annual salaries as high as 8 Caves Full of Gold!  Of course, as gods are able to make pretty much anything out of thin air, money was never in short supply.  As quickly as it grew, however, dragonfights soon became boring.  The leagues reacted by attempting to spice up the competition.  The Draconic Danger Deathmatch league gave it's competitors all sorts of bizzare powers, such as flaming breath and magical spells and theme music, as well as garishly-coloured hides.  The Deadly Dragons Bloodsport league countered by incorporating more dragon food.  Somtimes the food appeared in the form of a  flavourful group of "adventurers" who were given a fighting chance against the dragon.  Other times they mounted humans on the dragon's back to flail and swipe at the opponents (critics of dragonfights have considered the latter a very Weis maneuver for the DDB).  The third league changed its name to the Lucha Libra del Draco, and dressed its dragons in masks and speedos.  I hear the program can still be watched on local access cable.Like all fad sports, dragonfights lost its lustre and was abandoned by the gods (most moved on to the next big thing, giant spider goddess baiting).  Unfortunately for us "dragonfood", their "athletes" are still around, still sitting on their salaries, and still tasty in peanut sauce.So remember... the next time you go up against a dragon, check with your local multiplanar bookie.  Who knows?  There might be more money in betting on the dragon.As a side note, Roudi is quite interested in Elements of Magic: Mythic Earth</blockquote>

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