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Message: <blockquote data-quote="woodelf" data-source="post: 1886007" data-attributes="member: 10201">Back In The Day (i.e., middle school/highschool): one girl who joined for her own sake, 'cause we were all friends. One girl that i ended up dating, and i honestly can't remember whether dating or D&D happened first, but it definitely became her own thing by the end. Her little sister, and another little sister--the former initially because it was better than sitting at home, the latter initially because she was really into it. Of the other girls, we had another little sister (which made her about the age of the general group, because her brother was a couple years older), a couple girlfriends that never got into it, a best friend that took to RPGs like a fish to water, and several just-friends that stuck with it. Oh, and one girl that might have first tried RPGs because of her boyfriend (i don't know for certain), but they'd broken up already when i met her, so she joined the group of her own volition.  Since then, i haven't had a single girlfriend/wife in any group i've been in. All of the attached/married couples were gaming before they were a couple--and weren't necessarily even in the same games. So, that's something like a dozen women, all of whom were RPing for their own sake, or maybe because all their friends were doing it, but not because of a SO. I have had one guy brought to the gaming table because his wife was already in the group. Though i think he'd done some RPGs back in highschool.   However, i have witnessed the shift you're talking about, because i've known lots of people, male and female, that joined the gaming group primarily because that's what all their friends were doing, and about half of them (maybe a bit more) eventually shifted from "gaming because my friends are" to "hanging with my friends because they're also in the game". Sorry, no deep analysis available; RPGs aren't for everyone (just as, say, tennis isn't), and most of the gamers i've known didn't know beforehand that they would like RPGs, so some of them loved it, some of them never got into it. When i think i've seen the catalyst, it's varied from person to person, probably according to their personality and desires. For some, the defining moment was a really phenomenal success in the game (which could mean a single lucky die roll, or a specific encounter, or even the accomplishment of a major quest). For others, the first time they were able to experience something from a character POV that was antithetical to their own POV was the defining moment. For at least one, the first time she knew the rules well enough to make her own character, rather than have someone else do the number crunching to try to match her concept, seemed to be the breakpoint. It just seems to vary.</blockquote>

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