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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Sejs" data-source="post: 2624962" data-attributes="member: 4910">Animate Pants - causes the legwear of the target to spring to life and attempt to grapple the foe.  The danger of the spell largely depends on the gender of the target and the presence or absence of a zipper.Raise Dad - Unlike its similarly named counterpart, this spell actually serves to grant the targeted father an increase in wages.Animate Dad - For when you're sick of telling your husband to go and mow the lawn already.Arcane Slight - Lets the caster see the patterns of magic... kinda.Disguise Melf - Hides Melf so people can't go about Altering him all the dang time.Malign Weapon - Causes your weapon to seem much more evil, wicked, and nasty than it actually is.Atonemint - For when you're really sorry about bad breath.Evard's Black Tes..er. right.  Eric's grandmother.  Nevermind.Changestuff - An untimatly usefull spell if not too speciffic about what it actually does.Cornfusion - Instantly binds an entire stalk of corn to the target.  The Lesser variant only bonds a single ear.  Great at parties!Charm Parson - Get in tight with your local clergyman for up to  one hour per level!  Also available in Mass versions.Prismatic Spay - Is best not thought about too much.Burning Hans - Summons a large, muscular german man in a red speedo.  He's just so full of life!Continual Lame - This spell never gets any better.Creeping Boom - Causes a microphone to keep entering the shot from above.  Can also be used to lose one target Grip their job.Curse Walter - I'll get him some day!  Even if it's the last thing I do!Detect Poisson - Generally used before Neutralize Poisson; detects the presence of fish in the area, their location, and relative strength.Dispel Lawn - Well, at least you don't have to keep watering it now.Explosive Runs - You never should have eatten those clams.Ryebite - Causes a variety of adverse effects when the subject looks at certain types of grains or bread products.Faerie Ire - You obviously didn't learn anything from watching Fern Gully, did you.Find the Bath - Many convention-goers only wish they had this spell.Fire Torm - God of Duty and Paladins?  Not any more, pal!Gentle Depose - Removes target king from power in a kind and easy manner.Glob of Invulnerability - We don't know what it is, and we can't seem to affect it with spells of 5th level or lower.Guards and Wars - Protects your home, then begins hostile action against the nearest soverign state.Good Pope - Makes you quite satisfied with the work the supreme pontif of your choice.Caste - Target is unable to make any career changes while under the effect of this spell.  On the other hand, whatever they do, they're supposed to, so it's okay.Helping Hans - Burning Hans shows up to assist with whatever it is you're doing.Simplosion - Shows a rough approximation of what it would look like if something were to collapse in upon itselfInsect Plaque - Conjures up a really extensive bug collection.Jiveoak - It's no turkey, but it'll do.Nundetection - Causes divination spells to think you're a cloistered female clergy member.Symbol of Plain - Creates a sigil that doesn't do much of anything exceptional.  Ho-hum.Leomund's Tiny Hat - Keeps the top of your head warm and looks rather silly.  That's about it.Undeath to Heath - An odd but useful spell that transforms the walking dead into uncultivated moorland.Warp Woad - Make your fellow painted warriors marking turn into silly shapes, totally ruining the effect.</blockquote>

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