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World's smallest die..the TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY! - Clerks D&D
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<blockquote data-quote="Emirikol" data-source="post: 3027665" data-attributes="member: 10638"><p>This dialogue is courtesy of the discussion from thread: <a href="http://www.enworld.org/forums/showthread.php?t=172382" target="_blank">http://www.enworld.org/forums/showthread.php?t=172382</a></p><p></p><p>If it were camouflaged too and used in a low-light setting it would be exactly the type of crap my players would bring to the table... Here's some humor for you:</p><p></p><p>DMJay: What did you roll? I can't see your die.</p><p>Kevin: I know, it's camouflaged and .025 mm and you have bad lighting</p><p>DMJay: WTF are you using it for then?</p><p>Kevin: Because it's cool.</p><p>DMJay: It's not f'n cool. It's fn useless.</p><p>Kevin: You're useless. You don't appreciate cool..</p><p>DMJay: I appreciate cool</p><p>Kevin: Do not.</p><p>DMJay: Do so!</p><p>Kevin: Do not.</p><p>DMJay: Do so [DM slams fist on table]</p><p>Kevin: Hey, where'd my die go?</p><p>DMJay: it probably fell into the carpet</p><p>Kevin: Not your mom's brown and gold carpet!!!! Ugh! That die was $870. You owe me eight-hundred and seventy dollars.</p><p>DMJay: Do not</p><p>Kevin: Do so! [player slams fist on table]</p><p>Jason:. Everybody stop! I think I heard something bounce. Get down low and look to see if you can see it on the table.</p><p>[everybody leans in]</p><p>Christy: [eating a ranch-dipped carrot] OWWW! My tooth.</p><p>Everybody: DON'T SWALLOW</p><p>Christy: wow, never heard that from you guys before. Oh, here it is.</p><p>Everybody: SPIT IT OUT.</p><p>Christy: That's more like it [reaching into her mouth] Hmm. Is that a bone? Nope, it's silver. Hey, it is a die.</p><p>Kevin: My $870 die was BRONZE [glaring at DM]</p><p>DM: Where did you...? HEY, HAVE YOU BEEN GAMING AROUND?</p><p>Christy: only a few times</p><p>DM: A few times? What's that supposed to mean? How many times?</p><p>Christy: Well a few.</p><p>DM: How many times?</p><p>Christy: I don't know.</p><p>DM: You don't know? How can you not know how many times you've gamed around? Tell me. it's important.</p><p>Christy: Ok, ok, just wait a minute. [counting in her head]</p><p>DM: Jesus! How many!</p><p>Christy: Alright, alright! Don't get your DM undies in a bunch. Uhm. Ok, thirty-six.</p><p>Everyone: THIRTY SIX! </p><p>DM: Thirty-six! That's group loyalty for you. How many dice have you had in your mouth? HOW MANY?</p><p>Christy: Including Kevin's? Thirty-seven.</p><p>Everyone: Oh! Eeew.</p><p>DM: ok, you're out and see if you can cough up Jeff's die while you're at it. Try not to cough up 35 other people's dice or get anymore on your way home. [holding out hand]</p><p>DM: [spitting in Dm's hand a little bronze spec, carrot chunks and some ranch spew]</p><p>Everyone: eeeew!</p><p>Kevin: Oh, there it is. I got a 5.</p><p></p><p>jh</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>..</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Emirikol, post: 3027665, member: 10638"] This dialogue is courtesy of the discussion from thread: [url]http://www.enworld.org/forums/showthread.php?t=172382[/url] If it were camouflaged too and used in a low-light setting it would be exactly the type of crap my players would bring to the table... Here's some humor for you: DMJay: What did you roll? I can't see your die. Kevin: I know, it's camouflaged and .025 mm and you have bad lighting DMJay: WTF are you using it for then? Kevin: Because it's cool. DMJay: It's not f'n cool. It's fn useless. Kevin: You're useless. You don't appreciate cool.. DMJay: I appreciate cool Kevin: Do not. DMJay: Do so! Kevin: Do not. DMJay: Do so [DM slams fist on table] Kevin: Hey, where'd my die go? DMJay: it probably fell into the carpet Kevin: Not your mom's brown and gold carpet!!!! Ugh! That die was $870. You owe me eight-hundred and seventy dollars. DMJay: Do not Kevin: Do so! [player slams fist on table] Jason:. Everybody stop! I think I heard something bounce. Get down low and look to see if you can see it on the table. [everybody leans in] Christy: [eating a ranch-dipped carrot] OWWW! My tooth. Everybody: DON'T SWALLOW Christy: wow, never heard that from you guys before. Oh, here it is. Everybody: SPIT IT OUT. Christy: That's more like it [reaching into her mouth] Hmm. Is that a bone? Nope, it's silver. Hey, it is a die. Kevin: My $870 die was BRONZE [glaring at DM] DM: Where did you...? HEY, HAVE YOU BEEN GAMING AROUND? Christy: only a few times DM: A few times? What's that supposed to mean? How many times? Christy: Well a few. DM: How many times? Christy: I don't know. DM: You don't know? How can you not know how many times you've gamed around? Tell me. it's important. Christy: Ok, ok, just wait a minute. [counting in her head] DM: Jesus! How many! Christy: Alright, alright! Don't get your DM undies in a bunch. Uhm. Ok, thirty-six. Everyone: THIRTY SIX! DM: Thirty-six! That's group loyalty for you. How many dice have you had in your mouth? HOW MANY? Christy: Including Kevin's? Thirty-seven. Everyone: Oh! Eeew. DM: ok, you're out and see if you can cough up Jeff's die while you're at it. Try not to cough up 35 other people's dice or get anymore on your way home. [holding out hand] DM: [spitting in Dm's hand a little bronze spec, carrot chunks and some ranch spew] Everyone: eeeew! Kevin: Oh, there it is. I got a 5. jh .. [/QUOTE]
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